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Live-Action Zombie Shopping Mall Game

What do you get the zombiephile who has everything? How about a three-hour live-action zombie-slaying adventure in an abandoned shopping mall?

That’s right – for a limited time (due to the fact that the venue is slated for imminent demolition), you can live out your zombie survival fantasies in real life (albeit with Airsoft paintball guns) for the somewhat low, low cost of £119.00 per person (that’s about $188.71 in “real people money”).

Disclaimer: During a real zombie apocalypse, actual firearms are preferable to Airsoft weaponry.

So what do you get for your cash? Here’s what the hosts offer:

  1. Battle the zombie menace in an abandoned shopping mall
  2. Movie-quality special effects & video game-style missions
  3. 3+ hours of zombie killing action
  4. Zombie fighting is hard work. Tea, coffee, water and snack bars are included in the price.

The one drawback? You have to go to England (to Reading, Berkshire specifically, where the doomed mall resides). Since they don’t speak proper English there (we’re not even sure if they have cars yet or what), you’ll probably want to bring along a translator.

This zombiephile is heartened to see zombie fans finally taking live-action games seriously. Long relegated to the realm of Styrofoam sword-wielding pimply neckbeards, live action role playing is finally getting an shot of pure, adult testosterone straight to the mainline.

So what can you actually expect when you show up for your Zombie Shopping Mall experience? Here’s what the creators have to say:

In this spectacular ‘full immersion’ experience, you’ll be briefed and armed by the Police Special Zombie Bashing Unit. They’ll fill you in on the full, unfolding, undead apocalypse that is going down in Reading town. An apocalypse that, for once, you didn’t cause, but will have to try and fix.

Then you’ll hit the spooky, deserted shopping mall, but you won’t be shopping for that lovely little Pashmina you saw in Littlewoods. Instead, you and your team will be depleting the zombie population with full Bronson-style perspicacity. Using state of the art special effects and large, blood-inducing props you’ll tackle a series of computer game like missions in a full-on ‘run and gun’ gore fest.

It’s like your favourite Zombie movie come to life! Remember that hilarious undead rom-com ‘I Eat On Your Face’? How many times have you watched that? Too many. And now, you won’t just be lying on your filthy futon watching it, you’ll be acting it out with a gaggle of like-minded lunatics. You and your hardy group of zombie annihilators tracking the living dead up and down the mean escalators of this mall of doom.

If, like me, you hate things that shuffle (old people, zombies, card sharks) then don’t miss out on this incredible full immersion zombie battering experience at The Mall, Reading.

As a zombiephile who does, indeed, hate things that shuffle, I’ve got to admit that I’m seriously considering hopping a plane to England and signing up. Apparently I’m not the only one, either – it seems Simon Pegg (of Shaun of the Dead fame, you ignorant peasant) has caught wind of it also:

So what are you waiting for, zombiephiles? If you’re not British already, immediately stop brushing your teeth, get yourself an airplane ticket to Reading (actually I’m going to assume, since their mall is called “The Mall” and is derelict, that they don’t actually have an airport in Reading), and start blasting some zombies! If you are already British, sorry about the jokes, old chap, just taking the piss is all.

The hosts promise to take plenty of photos during your adventure, so send some our way and we’ll share then with the rest of the zombiephiles!

Ads of the Living Dead.