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Zombies – Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak

A wave of Zombie survival manuals have popped up recently, this one included, telling people what they should do during an outbreak of zombies. Thing is, nobody’s talking about what people shouldn’t do during a zombie outbreak.

Fortunately for you, our Zombiephile has scoured popular zombie movies and has isolated the Ten WORST Things to Do During a Zombie Outbreak. Sit back, enjoy, and take notes, Zombiephiles.

Ten WORST Things to Do During a Zombie Outbreak

10.
Don’t set zombies on fire. Burning zombies smell terrible.
Just what I needed - zombies AND third-degree burns.

Just what I needed - zombies AND third-degree burns.

We’re not sure why you see it in every zombie movie, but it stands to reason that the only thing worse than a zombie is a flaming zombie. Remember, it can take a long time for a zombie to burn to death – more than ten minutes, in some recorded cases. Do you really want a burning zombie lighting you and your friends on fire? Play it safe – chances are good that there won’t be much fire-fighting infrastructure in place during a zombie outbreak if things get out of hand.

9.
Don’t get sentimental. Zombies won’t.
Despite what it may look like, she's not coming in for a big zombie hug.

Despite what it may look like, she's not coming in for a big zombie hug.

Sure, it’s your house. Sure, they were your family and friends. But now it’s a zombie nest, and they’re zombies. Stick around, and your best chance is to become zombie food – worst case, you’ll end up a zombie like the rest. Zombies don’t have any feelings – neither should you.

8.
Don’t forget to shut the door behind you. Zombies often come over without calling first.
Now, I'm not saying it was you. I'm saying it was Ed.

Now, I'm not saying it was you. I'm saying it was Ed.

Were you born in a barn? Zombies might not be the brightest, but they know an open door when they see one. Keep your suburban zombie fortress secure by remembering to close and lock the door behind you. And don’t slam it either! Zombies hate that.

7.
Don’t keep zombies in the basement. Even if they are your zombie family.
Actually, you probably shouldn't keep living family members in the basement, either.

Actually, you probably shouldn't keep living family members in the basement, either.

Devotion to family and friends is touching. However, you don’t want them to be touching you, after they’re dead. Do yourself a favor and make sure you put zombie friends and family down properly. Remember, there is no zombie cure, and keeping them around only prolongs their suffering and increases the risk for everyone. Besides, do you really want to get eaten by your buddies?

6.
Don’t try to reunite with friends / family over long distances.
Don't have a nice cup of tea and wait for this all to blow over. It's a rubbish idea.

Don't have a nice cup of tea and wait for this all to blow over. It's a rubbish idea.

Seems like a great idea, doesn’t it? That’s what everyone thinks. Look, do the math. If you leave your house at noon, heading toward your mum’s, traveling 3 km per hour, and a crowd of zombies leaves the general vicinity of your mum’s at the same time, heading toward you at 1 km per hour, what time will you get eaten by zombies? Skip the math and consult rule #9.

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Moans.

  1. [...] ZombiePhiles.com had a great article on what you SHOULDNT do during the Zombie outbreak. A wave of Zombie survival manuals have popped up recently, this blog included, telling people what they should do during an outbreak of zombies. Thing is, nobody’s talking about what people shouldn’t do during a zombie outbreak. [...]

  2. Really, I think that these are worth mentioning.

    -Turning back to save the dumbass who wouldn’t listen to your zombie advice the first time. You both get chomped on.

    -Undead is never dead. Forgetting that zombie extremeties may still be “alive” enought to bite, claw, or otherwise infect–See Evil Dead and Dead Next Door.

    -Pet zombies don’t know that they are pets, and therefore, do not behave as such. See Stink of Flesh, 28 Days later, Dead Next Door… can’t wait to see Fido.

    -Your friends, when zombified, are no longer friendly. Shoot them. See My Dead Girlfriend.

  3. I shall remember that!

  4. Funny stuff. Great post!

  5. blah

    It’s not funny. It’s real. You’ll see.

  6. [...] Zombie Defense – Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak | The Zombie-Philes (tags: funny humor movies horror fun list) [...]

  7. ROFL! Awesome article. Very, very amusing. And true, too. ;)

  8. [...] Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak – The Zombie-Philes A wave of Zombie survival manuals have popped up recently, this blog included, telling people what they should do during an outbreak of zombies. Thing is, nobody’s talking about what people shouldn’t do during a zombie outbreak. [...]

  9. hahahah… is there such a thing like zombies? great!! heheh giverish focking things to think that there will be a zombie knockin at mah door

  10. [...] 10 things you shouldn’t do in a zombie attack. [...]

  11. [...] Zombie Defense – Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak | The Zombie-Philes (tags: ZombieAttack) [...]

  12. [...] The Zombie-Philes » Blog Archive » Zombies – Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak 10) Don’t set zombies on fire. Burning zombies smell terrible. Hihihi… (tags: horror fun Zombie horrorfilm film) [...]

  13. Brian

    11. Don’t go to the Winchester (or similar beer garden, pub, bar, etc.)

  14. gonz

    Number One works with not just zombies but with every sort of situation. Dont be that arsehole !!!

  15. [...] Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak (tags: zombies humor funny list) [...]

  16. [...] Zombie News: Worst things to do during an outbreak [...]

  17. [...] The 10 worst things to do during a zombie outbreak [...]

  18. [...] Zombie Outbreak 4) Babies 3) Robot Criminals 2) Science 1) Fred [...]

  19. [...] Ten Worst Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak – Don?t get sentimental. Zombies won?t. [...]

  20. Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! xzulvaybdgwlmv

  21. [...] Zombiephile dopo un’attenta visione di tutti i film horror-zombie ha trovato le le 10 cose da non fare [...]

  22. Why not go see a show during the attack. Zombie Joes Underground Theatre is at ZombieJoes.com

    Also, #10 Do not set zombies on fire – This is not only a good idea because they reek but also because they tend to wobble a little more than usual and bump into things. Well anything they bump into will then catch fire too. So now you not only need to worry about the structure you are encapsulated in, you also need to avoid a moving burning object coming at you who could care less that the whole shit house is about to come down on both of you… and whomever else is trapped.

  23. [...] Oh and if we ever have a Zombie outbreak I highly encourage you to read this list of 10 things NOT to do in a Zombie attack. [...]

  24. Neo Anderson

    wow thanks for the tip, its really funny to read during office hours, and I’m thinking of what to do when a zombie outbreak happens here in the office im working at.

  25. I´ve translated your wonderful text to portuguese(now your famous here too, lol) (…)Texto adaptado do site Zombiephiles, leia o original aqui(apesar do meu ser melhor e em português).

    10 – JAMAIS toque fogo em um zumbi. Zumbis Flambados fedem, e muito.
    A Gente sempre vê os idiotas fazerem isso em filmes e se darem muito mal, primeiro porque os zumbis flamejantes podem tocar fogo em outros zumbis, e segundo porque eles podem tocar fogo(…)

  26. Marcelo, you are a true Zombiephile! Now the great nation of Portugal is one step closer to zombie-readiness!

  27. mooby

    its going to happen soon lock and barracade your self in the bathroom with food water and guns!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. [...] is important that you understand what to do and what Not to do during a Zombie outbreak. Here is what NOT to do… I guess you could tie them up with the ultimate knot. Here is the video on how to do [...]

  29. zombie slayer

    hey hey guys here are my responses……

    1. why the fuck would you not set zombies on fire?!?!?!?!that is dumb who cares if they smell bad at least you are saving your ass right?????

    2. i agree dont get sentimental at least not to the point where you are fucking crying your eyes out you need to go and kick some zombie ass!!!!!!

    3. most defintely close the door behind you that is like fucking common sense there.

    4. defintely do not keep zombies in your basement guys thats just plan dumb…”no i cant kill my brother hes only been bitten” WHAT THE FUCK!!!! put a god damn bullet in the things head its no longer your brother ok!

    5. what kind of shit is that you need as many members as possible if you want to live!!!!!! i mean i have this amamzing girlfriend and i said if zombies attack you are the first person im coming for not FUCK YOU!!! you save yourself this girl means more than the world to me so do not listen to that one.

    6. dont listen to this one either broadcast….. like i said you want as many members as possible so broadcast and you get some help..

    7. i agree with this dont stand in front of the window if you do what the fuck is wrong with you??????? thats practically wearing a sign that says come and eat me!!!!

    8. dont listen to this one either get as fuckiong creative as you want if you plan on staying some where for a bit get as fucking creative as you possibly can because you shouldnt be wasting your ammo all the fucking time so get creative guys.

    9.i agree dont be the ass whole in the group thats just plan dumb because if i had an ass in my group i would either shoot them or feed them to zombies and then shoot him.

  30. Mizter Zister

    #1) stop getting so worked up Zombie Slayer, and using that many f-bombs just proves what a small vocabulary you’ve got.
    #2)Want zombie survival tips? read the Zombie Survival Guide (by Max Brooks)

  31. [...] There have been many articles, videos, and postings on how to survive a zombie outbreak, the best of course being Max Brooks book.  However I haven’t seen any what not to do, until now.  I’m reposting the funny, informative, and helpful article from the zombiephiles. [...]

  32. Dave

    At least I can go to the burger place and get me a Quarter Pounder it’s not on the list. Ha Ha ! No bad zombie you have to wait until I finish my fries..!!

  33. madqueen

    It is enough to make it funny’

  34. Big D

    Me crack itches somethin’ fierce… I think a Zombie licked it!

  35. I hope this never happens, but i’m sue it will.I am ready for an outbreak.

  36. Also, Rigging your fortress with mines or remote explosives may cause more harm then they do good. Not only can shrapnel rip through your defenses, it cant exactly distinguish between a zombie and your forehead. Plus in most zombie movies I’ve seen an explosion, regardless of the type, seems to light zombies on fire. Which is aforementioned very, very bad thing

  37. Jonno

    I thinks the No.1 rule is NEVER EVER drop your flashlight, it’s always a bad thing, duct tape it to a gun or somthing, and always keep batteries handy.

  38. Great list :D

    I would add to the fire zombie area a little… the only thing worse than a zombie trying to eat your brains is a zombie on fire trying to eat your brain.

  39. alisooon

    bahahahahha i loveeed this (:

  40. i watch zombie fillmmmmmms all the time good advice dont lite a zombie on fire. i like all your advise ZOMBIES rule theyle come 1 day!!!!!

  41. Honey Anne

    Lulz. The advice, esp. the last one really takes the cake.

  42. [...] Click on through to head to the ZombiePhiles site for the full article, and a few good laughs. [...]

  43. [...] ever cover natural disasters as well as nuclear disasters – Akin gives us some great advice on NOT burning zombies (link from David), plus the LiveJournal zombie community and a puppet show for kids! – ADR writes [...]

  44. cutter

    if you guys plan on staying in a building dont if you want to stay alive for years after z-day stay on the road with a fleet of trucks

  45. hackin zack

    shawn of the dead is pretty much the not to do zombie manual but its so funny

  46. eriction

    I’m excited for Z Day just so I can actually be something important in todays society.

  47. [...] This Article One more survival guide from our friends at Zombiephiles. This is a guide to then ten worst things to do when facing down the Zombie Apocalypse. Since we started this story we’ve tried to give you a pretty clear view of some of the major [...]

  48. phyllie417

    I will commit these to memory.

  49. rudolph

    Kill them with big pinty sticks

  50. TheBurningPie

    For the love of god, don’t use a goddam hummer or cadillac as transport, because you wont even make it out of the city if you do.

  51. TheBurningPie

    @zombie slayer

    Judging by your attitude and intelligence, you would be one of the first to either be bitten, or killed because your just really fucking annoying.

  52. what the hell is this shit i love number 7 but if i was in that situation i would bang the girl befor i die hahaha

  53. i killed my bf before he wasnt him.

    my bf got bit once and i had 2 shoot him.

  54. Jesus

    @zombie slayer
    That`s retard…i bet you will die in the first encounter with a zombie.

  55. Funny article. Very true about setting zombies on fire. NOt to mention a burning zombie will just walk around catching other things on fire and then you have to fight the zombies and fire! That sucks!

    zombiescantlove.blogspot.com

  56. Jesus

    @Your mom & Zombie slayer = “that one asshole”

  57. How about “don’t turn the lights on?” And, “don’t scream.”

    Assuming we still have electricity.

    Haven’t you ever wondered if all those zombies would have gone to the farm house in Night of the Living Dead, if they weren’t screaming with every damn light on?

    I’ve never seen a zombie go anywhere near a quiet, dark house…

  58. Zombie/Jesus Venn Diagram on Twitpic http://bit.ly/505uCj

  59. Luis

    Wow that is the stuff yeah that is the stuff an I thaught I was Gina go 2 walmart because they got food an guns

  60. ian thornton

    well, im set for the zombie apocalypse. retractible stair case an` all.
    and a bunch of longlasting fodd stored in my attic, wich has been pesticided and turned into a freezing unit with a large area reserved for comfortable living. and in case things get really sticky, iv`e even ot a armoured vehicle and a boat.
    and a bunch of food and fishing stuff on the boat.
    so.
    nyeh.

  61. Zombies – Ten WORST Things to do During a Zombie Outbreak | The Zombiephiles – Because You Love Zombies….

    Get dead – An illustrated guide of the things NOT to do when the inevitable happens….

  62. sean

    ha ha ha ok, but you forgot somthing, do we stay in the house, do we pack up car with wepons and leave to hollywood, or do we stay home and create a zombie barier, or like a defence, or do we “steal” a boat and boat to an island and make that a barier? what else can we do???? because, i am 14 and know everything of what to do, just dont go to a theme park, mall, or were there are a large sum of crows!!!!!, well, ya sooooo, bye bye zombie happy meals, =D

  63. “Always check all the toilet cubicles”

    Pretty sure that oen should be in the list.

  64. Kawaii Kid Lynette

    @ Big D Then that must have been a zombie dog.

  65. Kawaii Kid Lynette

    @ Big D Ewe. Then that must have been a zombie dog.

  66. Kawaii Kid Lynette

    Haha. Wierd. One comment I wrote appeared twice.

  67. i will shit my pants if i see a zombie running to me even if i have a sniper if a bunch o0f them are looking at me in my window just staring at me like there waiting for me to crack and kill myself waiting for the meal to kill it self so they don’t have to do the work of trying to hunt me down and kill me so they can enjoy a nice meal

  68. if you don’t mine i like to change some of this guns and chine saws are good most of the time but they make a lot of noise and gonna make more zombies come to you if you fine a gun store with scilent guns god likes you. next you sloud goo to an island cuba is the best thats where i’m going.fanally never tell any body where you r. u don’t no them they can stell all your stuff food and water and might kick u out of your own house or fort thats the first rule of servival never tell any body where u r and if u did don’t trust them . i hope i see you guys on cuba learn spanish now and speak spanish on cuba your next home XD

  69. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a church-going, God fearing man but if the ghouls arrive, the worst thing you can do is try & catch a service at your local church, temple or mosque – it will carnage as the desperate rush in there to grab some last minute blessings…

    Avoid at all costs..

  70. Sounds terrific i experienced such zombies only in movies were a mob of sleep walkers in search for their meal follows an individual.And i think these zombies exist only in an imaginary world but there are few scientists who are trying to carry out some researches with the help of which they assure to bring life out of death but for time being this all lies at superficial boundaries.

  71. FOR GODS SAKES DO NOT BRODCAST NOBODY BRODCAST IF YOU WHERE F***EN SMART U WILL NOT BROCAST that is it

  72. john

    (\/)ndi nman ako naniniwala d2 sa mga zombies!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (–)
    ( )
    oo

  73. [...] this website provides you with a list of top ten necessary things NOT to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. [...]

  74. Teja Appilla

    I don’t know about zombies (undead zombies is bullshit, viral zombies is possible. e.g. rabies is an example, if a mutated rabies virus or a new virus has started that has a fast reaction). But there will definitely be a World War 3. The world’s oil will be over in around 25-40 years due to the current rate of consumption. USA and Middle East will be the only country with several oil reserves. It will pretty much be USA vs Middle East vs Rest of the world. Currently USA has 750 million barrels (and the current oil consumption is 20 million barrels a day. These reserves will only last 2-3 years.
    The facts about oil is in a documentary by NatGeo. The zombies statement is my opinion.

  75. S

    The basement can be used to trap zombies but you should then move to a new house. More will come and eventually they will fill up the space available. The basement trap is easily constructed by using a saw or axe to remove the floor just inside your doors and windows. Also remove the stairs down to the basement. Use all of the spare wood to cover the windows. Keep a few wide boards around to cover a pit trap and make your escape when necessary. Don’t hang around after you catch some zombies. Also have a ladder or rope to get out of the pit in case a non-zombie should fall in by accident.

  76. ZombieLoner

    Im making a zombie movie for my highschool project. I was just wondering
    what would happen to a vampire if a zombie bit him/her? Would he:
    A- turn into a zombie
    B- be unaffected
    C- glitter like edward collins
    D- other(specify)

  77. Hahaha love it! Everyone should read this! Made my Halloween. LOL

    Thrill the World Zombies:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldhmofj6GCU

  78. Mufasa

    lmao…. thats just hilarious. no. no one likes assholes. but i gots plans to go to puget sound in washington when z day happens. tons of timy towns on islands by seattle to live or loot. plus great view of skyline, rainier, and tons of water around you

  79. hello i am such a zombie freak and i just wrote that i hate to get eaten by zomies

  80. jim

    thats rediculis what you r saying

  81. 1.gather friends and family, gett them 2 safe location.
    2.go out to the closest gun store,buy some guns(or kill the clerck and steal um.)
    3.go to store. buy and or loot quickly before the outbreak get to bad.
    4.head back to your safe location and pick up friends and family.
    5.move your friends and faimly to a place like a farm. or the outback.(dont go to an island. thats dumb and you are going to die of starvation)
    6.pop in and out of the contry when you need food. stay at your location. dont make to much noise.

    WEAPONS:base ball bat, axe, cricket, shovle, machete, and other blunt and sharp wepons. GUNS: you should only use guns if your getting swarmed by hundreds of them and even then you shouldnt. if you HAVE to use a gun, i suggest a barreta pistole if you get one. or a magnum. others should be hunting rifles.

  82. its me again. im here to talk more about survivle. guns are bad because they are loud. zombies will here the gun shots for miles. so there you go from 3 zombies to 300 zombies. you would have to shoot and run alot.

    second guns are bad because they run on ammunition.its all good till you run out of ammo. and then OH CRAP! dose a bat run on ammunituion? no? i didn’t think so. at least i hope they don’t. thank you and comment if you want to peace! ill check this from time to time

  83. Darren

    where would you hide?

  84. nice website but u will need the ivices when zombies come their real

  85. derek

    i <3 this! i never really thought about this SERIOUSLY….. im not that one asshole (zombie slayer) ill start preparing! demetri- bats can break so id reccomend a crobar or machete/sword. thanks guys this helped

  86. Steve

    May favs and suggestions…

    Fire… the greatest. It might seem like a good idea at the time, but like some of the others have said, I don’t think the zombies care that they are on fire.

    Chainsaws, dangerous enough when used properly… enough said about that one.

    Tips to prevent you and yours from becoming lunch,

    I’m thinking you need to keep as many options open as possible. Barracade your house, but have vechices ready to rumble. Having the vechicles means you can then pick a fall back position. Repeat as needed. Barracaded house, escape vechicles.

    Next, weapons, you are going to need different weapons for different situations. It’s not easy (I’m guessing here) to kill someone with a bat, unless you get lucky with a quick blow to the head. Also a baseball bat isn’t something I’d use in close quaters. I was hit with one in the arm and it hurt like hell, but I still beat the daylights out of the guy. Not too mention, you are going to get tired doing all of the swinging. knives… make’em big. Guns, yep.. shotguns for in the house and semi-auto or military arms for open spaces. Yes guns make noise, but you should already be looking for a way out as soon as you are engaged by the undead.

    Last but no means least, ALWAYS be thinking two moves ahead.

    In closing, I would/will, save a few rounds for me and mine. The only guarantee you get when born, is that some day… you will dye. Just hope it’s on your terms.

    Best of luck survivors.

  87. I really dont think Fire is a bad thing to use on the streets. I think if fire would burn hot and long enough on the zombie then the muscles, tendons and ligaments would be destroyed and wouldn’t allow the the zombie to move. Not sure if it would be able to destroy the brain though. The good is that it might spread to other zombies and catch them on fire. The bad is that it can catch buildings or other shelters or whatever else is flammable on fire. I wouldnt want to light these guys inside a building or in some woods, but in the streets I could see its potential usefullness. And IMO the movies over exaggerated to much. Plus i think Nukes should be on this list, nukes are a good weapon but when us survivors are in the crossfire hell no.

  88. Jon

    Sources at the White House have confirmed they are preparing for “Rapture” and a possible zombie attack. All military installati­ons have been put on high alert and as of midnight all bases & posts will be closed and sealed(sim­ilar to 9/11 attacks). The president has cancelled all meetings and has relocated to a secure location(p­ossibly Co. Springs). Government officials are being warned to prepare for public mass panic and to notify law enforcemen­t to be vigilant and ready. FBI & ATF have already confirmed record weapon and ammunition sales in the last 24 hours in such states as Texas, Florida and Arizona. As notified by the CDC it is recommende­d to gather supplies and other provisions immediatel­y(food, water, short wave emergency radio, flashlight­s and battery’s)­. First signs of approach are thought to be mass evacuation­s by wildlife followed by an acidic smell in the air. It is still unknown if the President will address the nation or not…

  89. Saved for emergency use. Thank you.

  90. Brianna

    @Zombie Slayer,
    The reason NOT to set a Zombie to fire is Because they feel NO pain! They tend to bump into things and May bump another zombie, causing that one to fire. And trust me, you do NOT want a big group of like 50 zombies coming at you. Its not saving your ass, Its basically Suicide!

  91. Brianna

    Okay I may seem like a Zombie freak but I am totally paranoide but hey, Im Prepaired!!!

  92. chris

    y is it not smart to get ur friends i thought the more the better bc u will have more to help u fight then just by urself bc i have a army that i have to get when a zombie out brake stats bc ive been getting ready for it since i was little

  93. well zombies eat you so you need a gun shotgun,rifle.cover your door with mettle and windows to .get ready nick out

  94. i got a plan. if eneyone beleve find me and i will join

  95. Voidflakes

    I think no.2 is an arguable point, you NEED to have some creativity and imagination otherwise you’re going to walk past every potential weapon you see. But I guess it does say don’t get “too” creative :-p Find a good balance and stick to it.

    One MAJOR problem I see with a lot of people is that they say “Don’t waste your ammo” or “I’ll just grab an AK-fucking-seven”. I mean seriously? Where are you going to find this magical stash of weaponry? The army, if it hasn’t already been zombified, isn’t going to provide supply drops to every major city and tiny hamlet, or hand their valuable arsenal over to civilians. A huge amount of us don’t live in Guns-Up countries like America or Switzerland. Take that into consideration please, people.

    Also, fire isn’t necessarily a bad thing, IF you know what you’re doing. Combine it with sharp weaponry for an easier cut/stab, think hot knife through butter as opposed to “Burn, baby, burn!”. If you can trap a small horde in, say, an enclosed car park then hoss a few molotovs in and cover your nose as you depart. Smoke blinds the senses of sight and smell. Zombies may not be too worried about their eyes, but if they can’t smell you then you’re probably much better off. Pre-determine your escape route and build your fire accordingly. Save it ’til you need to evacuate, but try to light it before you’re noticed. At the least it will buy you some time, at best you won’t be noticed at all.

  96. hey VOIDflake i would be on a roof top with a sniper sniping them out if i run out of amoe look for some in the bilding.anything is a wepons don’t be stuped .So get of my back iv watched tons of of zombie shows.oh yah i will survive.if zombies bit you there sliva haves the virus

  97. Voidflakes

    Nick, I think you have completely missed my points, and simultaneously proven to the world just how illiterate you are. I will explain what I meant in 3 easy steps, just for you.

    Firstly: Did you even read my post properly? If you didn’t, please do.
    Secondly: Where does your sniper rifle come from? Are you a licenced Sharpshooter for the police or military? Or do you honestly believe that you’ll just happen to find one laying around in the park? Both possibilities seem preposterous.
    Thirdly: One of the main points of my previous message was this, “Grab what weapons you can but don’t piss about. A long wooden/light metal bar and a hatchet can make a great polearm, but don’t get eaten whilst trying to figure out how to combine a pencil, an old Spice Girls CD and a punnet of plums to create a zombie-decimating death machine.”

    As a side note, you would play the Spice Girls CD, and use the pencil to sketch the amusing faces of any nearby zombies right before their heads explode. The plums are just a yummy treat to enjoy while you’re drawing. Earmuffs not included, but recommended.

  98. I’m sorry to note that you missed a few things. Stuff like, well, not going to the hospital, church, mall, or downtown. Also, do not move around in the day and expect not to be followed. Do not use lights in your hideout, or talk above a whisper unless you are ready to deal with zombies. Also, don’t sit in your hideout and expect rescue. (Noted, but not emphasized.) Those not living near freshwater should immediately fill every jug and water bottle with the life-saving liquid. Also, don’t run at armed people. They might look like salvation, but kill you because they are so tired they can’t differentiate you from a zombie.

  99. Nice & funny read :)

    I myself am writing such a thing http://filya.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/2-8-days-later-chapter-1/ but in a more detailed manner.

  100. [...] @@ADSENSE@@.In order to stay healthy, people have been going jogging for years and years, but what they might no…back, and while you may not be affected by these issues right away, they will eventually begin to wear on you. Instead of trying to stay healthy through jogging, it is smart to look for other things you can do instead – things that will enable you to continue to keep up your cardiovascular activity, without putting so much strain on your knees and your back. [...]

  101. The worst thing to do is die

  102. zombies dont care how little kids are they will eat them so dont leave your kids alone thats the worst thing cause you dont want to be eatin by your kids do you

  103. [...] @@ADSENSE@@.Moving from one house to another can be a whole lot of work, and one of the worst things of all abou…be moving soon, to gather as many tips as you can so that your moving experience will go much more smoothly. Although there are certainly piles of tips for you to be aware of, here are three of the most important tips – and all three of these are extremely easy to implement, and will make your move a lot more successful! [...]

  104. keith collins

    that sherry shriner uses orgone water witha water canon sprayer.
    thereis a website that has xombie combat traing like martial arts but impleir , three zobie attack palm to nos to the one the right heel to head to theone to the left annd palm to nose to the thrid one afte that either run or take heads woth sword , simple as one two three ,, then there is the car awaytheme the tree climb theme the wait until day light and pay back with shotgun and sword head hunter,
    uring the medievil times italy had and out breakof vampires working there way forward to prome and the king of france was asked to help with the out break they hid in caves and the king used a fire wagon to smoke them out of the caves and took head the flead vamire killed twenty man beofre the kill took his head , real story king champagne look it up , there was a out break of zombies in the floride keyss after a 1935 f5 tornado or hurricane 2000 zombie on the island the briges were alll washed away leave humans suckwith zombies , not a good day for those people ,, enlighten they had fvza agency then and the vacinne but the vacine is no good after two day after infected , vampire and zombie virus that is

  105. chino

    Great website full of info just have a question when you talk about Zombie survival theirs always one thing that leaves me wondering after the dead begin to Rot What will keep us alive once the plagues start due to flies and rotting flesh not to mention rats and water contaminaton what would recommend in a more realistic senario

  106. Sinead

    great website

  107. Spartarcad

    This guide I liked; the flashlight advice was good, however I would also add:- Never enter a building that ‘appears’ empty especially at night when the hysterical elderly women in the group says “It seems empty, there may be food inside” that my dear is generally what the zombies think also! Disbelief – I would avoid this at all costs; if it looks, walks, eats and groans like an un-dead monstrosity, I would assume it is! Do not meander politely about the azure dawn as screams bellow from buildings musing to yourself “what could possibly be awry this morn?” One question remains of our ethical responsibilities? I ask, what do you do with children? They are noisy, uncooperative, ravenous, a serious health risk and numerous – remind you of anything?

  108. Neko-chan

    Forgot to mention to NOT let emotions control and run screaming at them.

  109. connor

    i would be gettin so many clothes anything i can get u no wot im sayin

  110. Interesting List you have here. I’m thinking of doing a similar list to this one.

    Thanks for the inspiration man!

  111. the guy from the corner

    u forgot to say to shoot them in the head!

  112. Haha nice article. If only some movie characters saw this this thread sooner :)

  113. phinn

    I have read many articles on zombie epicedemics, seen a number of movies on it, like “the walking dead, resident evil”, and list goes on and on. I have noticed a few things that get overlooked, and one is a choice of a weapon. Say you have a 12 gauge, and lets just say you have unlimited ammo, in reality we know that wouldn’t hold true. (for those of us who own a weapon like that, i dare you to go down to your local wal-mart, buy a 100 pack of winchester or federal brand shells and fire all one hundred during the course of say six hours. Keep inmind this is only light #7 or 8 bird shot, so unless you shoot at point blank range, it would be inaffective, and has a lower recoil than slugs or 00buck. i know from experiance i have a mossberg 88 & a 500, either one after 2-3 mags…that is 12-18 rounds, my shoulder is really beginning to hurt.after 100 plus rounds i don’t think i could lift my arm.
    i have seen the almighty baseball bat mentioned, and it would be an excellent weapon, but there again you would be face to face with hoards of hungry walking corpses. i know i could only swing it for so long before my arms and shoulder gave out. I noticed another misconception is the chainsaw. Fabric as light as a tee-shirt will stop a saw dead in it’s tracks. I would guess a good rifle to use if it’s only a head shot you need is, the common 22 cal. rifle, and the other would be a good quality 36 inch samuri sword.

    the other thing is i see the big question,”how do i survive the zombie Apocalypse?” The simple answer is you most likely won’t. I’m not saying to give up hope, just have fun until you’re eaten.Even if every move was carefully planned, dumb crappy bad luck will roll you in the end. It could be as simple as you should run left instead of right, and now you’re trapped with no way out. on the other hand, Shooting all the people who have ever pissed you off,with no conquences, you couldn’t buy therapy that would compare to that.
    the only thing i am sure of is i think i would function in a world like that better than this one. The one thing i forgot, and this would be the most important, we have all seen in a disaster, weather it be nateral or human error, the surviving people are far more dangerous than the actual disaster. I would be more afraid of the uninfected humans than the zombies. I know the walking dead just want a meal.

  114. Mikey

    Hi I know that I am young for my age to think about this but I have a plan and it is top secret but my rule is check befor you let

  115. [...] of zombies).  We know the odds on a zombie attack (actually we don’t) but then I found this and this!  Now I must confess I haven’t actually read these articles (they just came up on [...]

  116. [...] http://www.zombiephiles.com/zombies-ate-my-brains/zombie-outbreak-ten-worst-things-to-do Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. This entry was posted in Stories of Violence.Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment [...]

  117. diane

    i’v seen a reel zombie photo

  118. diane

    did you realize that most zombies came from miami and i live by miami

  119. [...] you are full of fail, just to prove what a pal I am, I’ll share these Ten Worst Things to Do in a Zombie Outbreak to help you [...]

  120. @ Phinn

    You raise a very good point: any surviving humans, over time, will become hard-as-nails killing machines, more concerned with their own survival than rescuing (and sharing precious resources) with any stranger that happens along.

    Once the initial shock of Z-day wears off, individual survivors will probably have anywhere from 2 days to a week to join forces with random strangers before groups become hardened to the plight of other survivors. As time wears on, the odds of surviving humans acting humane to strangers decreases.

    Unless you can readily prove you have a valuable life-skill to offer (healthcare worker, helicopter pilot WITH a helicopter, sexy chick who can run AND kick ass in high heels), you’d probably be better off communicating with any survivors in groups larger than yours with a loudspeaker and binoculars – at least until you can trust them not to slit your throat while you sleep.

  121. aJ

    Fire might be effective considering the brain will burn if anyone here watches the walking dead I was just screaming burn the zombies instead of stabing them but if lighting the fire anything below the stomach will be time consuming

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