This zombiephile would just like to be the first to say, “I told you so.”
The United States government, and President Bush in particular, have been fighting the good fight against the imminent zombie outbreak for months now; as we’ve been living our lives in quiet desperation, worrying about the economy and terrorism and our mortgages, our heroic soon-to-be-ex-president has taken the fight to the zombies.
Although this zombiephile voted Obama, there’s one thing we can say for sure: the new administration will be nowhere near as prepared to deal with the zombie menace as the Bush administration was.
I mean, c’mon – Vice President Cheney shot a guy in the face because he thought he was a zombie (you didn’t really believe he thought the guy was a small bird, did you?)! Do you think Joe Biden will have the balls to turn the shotgun on his best friend, when the zombie moment comes? I think not!