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Zombie Defense – Ten Zombie-Slayin’ Weapons You Already Own!

Sure, killin’ zombies with a shotgun just seems natural. I mean, we’ve all seen zombie movies like Dawn of the Dead, read zombie comics or zombie books like The Zombie Survival Guide. We know how to kill zombies with tough-guy weapons. You’ve got to separate the head from the body of the zombie, or destroy the zombie brain.

But in a true zombie outbreak, a widespread pandemic of flesh-eating zombies, that inevitable zombie plague, chances are that you won’t be ready. When zombies arrive, you’ll probably be sitting around at home, doing whatever it is you usually do when you’re sitting around at home. Not thinking about zombies, that’s for sure. To that end I’ve done the legwork. Consult the list, grab a weapon and start killing zombies!

Zombie Defense – 10 Zombie Weapons You Already Own

10.
The Towel/Curtain Rod

horror movie - zombie weapon - 10Almost every home has one. Grab it, tear it off the wall and start slapping zombies.

9.
The Spatula.

horror movie - zombie weapon - 9Don’t underestimate this diminutive weapon – a hard chop against a zombie neck and you’ve got a dead zombie. Make sure you’re using a metal spatula, as zombie killing results with a plastic spatula may vary.

8.
The Candlestick.

horror movie - zombie weapon - 8Whack zombies about the head with a heavy candlestick like you’re Colonel Mustard in the Dining Room. Tell them the zombie did it.

7.
The Butcher Knife.

horror movie - zombie weapon - 7For your garden variety zombie, knives aren’t the best, but they work. Remember to go for the head – orifices are soft spots.

6.
The Rolling Pin.

horror movie - zombie weapon - 6The only problem about killing a zombie with a rolling pin is that you can’t use it for baking afterward. Effective against multiple zombies.

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Moans.

  1. […] Zombie Defense – Ten Zombie-Slayin’ Weapons You Already Own! […]

  2. Zach

    I already own a 12 gauge shotgun, a .44 magnum revolver, a .22 rifle, and a .223/5.56NATO AR-15.

  3. A

    How is a shovel a good weapon? It would fall off after a few hard hits.

  4. Zach

    If it’s even a moderately good shovel you can decapitate someone in one smooth motion especially if it’s file sharpened. Also I don’t know if you’ve ever been shovel whipped but it hurts you more than a shovel.

  5. I prefer aluminum baseball bats. I have a red one. It means more if you’ve read XXXHolic, but zombies rarely note such a reference.

  6. Jack Clancy

    dude just buy a switchblade and if one of them got near,slash his head off

  7. Cameron

    Dude, Jack, that would be stupid. Switch blades aren’t very long, and letting a zombie get in that close is a horrible idea.

  8. Marty Party

    yes, a switchblade IS a bad weapon, unless you combo it (or any othe sharp weapon) with a broom handle (or the like) you can make a spear. Spears can keep zombies at bay while other reload firearms. Close combat is bad, but spears would be perfect for holding them back and buying time. If many people are using spears, they can hold off many zombies at a time.

  9. If you do use a spear, be sure to attach some sort of sturdy crosspiece to keep the weapon from going right through the zombie’s rotting body. Remember, only brain damage kills a zombie, and the spear’s intended target can walk.. er.. shamble.. unhindered into biting range.

  10. Marty Party

    of course, of course,but I’m not recommending spears for KILLING a zombie, just holding them back for the gunmen to finish off. Though a spear could be useful at holding them at bay (ie multiple people pushing the zombies outward from a doorway) and a kiling blow would only work if the spear [and person] is strong enough. A strong spear can cripple zombies (eye stabs, chops to the knee etc) so a quick getaway can be made. hmmmmm… a halbred could also be fashioned with a broom+axe+blade combination, that would also be an effective stabbing and chopping weapon.

  11. The Wizard

    I have a wooden bat with large bolts screwed threw it. Great against zombies and tenderizing the stray buffalo.

  12. Marty Party

    mmmmm…buffalo… that would be a excellent weapon against a single Z, but the nails could get stuck in the head of the zombie.

  13. Marty Party

    I write a blog on myspace, it’s a story about post-apocalyptic world that is recovering in an army base. I do stray from some rules (animal zombies) and I also included Resident Evil-esque monsters for flavor. I wrote also a great deal of futuristic weapons and vehicles as some more spice. You guys should check it out.

  14. Rory

    As a former member of the Army, I could lend a few other useful household items to your lineup.

    1. Pizza cutter, small, sharp, metal, good backup weapon.

    2. Electric saw blades, Frisbees of death.

    3. The odd bits of pipe that lay around most basements and garages make a good staff, ram it through a neck, or crack a skull, just do not plan on using for future plumbing jobs.

    4. Broken Broom Handles, splintered spears, keep your distance.

    5. This one is for all the rednecks out there, the good old board with a nail in it. Try wrapping an end with barbed wire.

    6. Hand held manual cross cut saw, you know wooden handle, long metal blade, for cutting wood the old fashioned way. Good hacking/slashing weapon, no pun intended.

    7. Cast Iron Skillet, works as a bashing item for those squishie craniums. Works against those blokes that won’t take no as an answer too.

    8. Firearms, I know some of you own them, legal or not, a good headshot is all it takes, and the cops won’t care too much, you are helping them, just ditch the gun after the outbreak so you don’t get busted.

    9. The front bumper of your car. Oh darn, I didn’t see that crosswalk. Hint hint…

    10. Broken Glass, hey, if you were stupid enough not to board up your windows, and they made entry, and you have no other way to defend yourself, send them to the afterlife with a quick slash to the neck from the window they just broke.

    10.5 Country music. We have determined that zombies can hear, so, if that music depresses most living, why not try it on the re-animated, they may want to off themselves. Better not try this, you may want to join them.

  15. Rory

    if you have other ideas, hit me up on myspace, I am Scorp, look for the monkey at the keyboard picture.

  16. Victor Magnum Fyst

    I’ve got some of my own.

    10. A big branch. They’re all over the place. If you’ve made the dumbass move of going into a forest during a Zombie Apocalypse, then you’ve got no other choice. Make sure you pick up a sturdy one that won’t break. Hold the thick end of the branch outward so you can hit the zombie in the brain with it.

    9. Rocks. Big ones. Now if you’re outside and there’s no good sticks, there’s always rocks. If it’s really, really big, then you should hold it over your head and when the zombie comes close, bash it over the head. This will only work if there’s one or two zombies, but in a full crowd, you should probably pray. If the rock is smallish, pick up some more and start throwing. Remember, accuracy is life.

    8. Book Cases. Sticks and stones may crush a zombie’s brain, but a lot of books will crush maybe 12 zombies at once. If you’re ever in a library, line the zombies up with the long side of a book case, run to the other side and push it over! I’ve always wanted to do it, now you can too!

    7. A tool box. Same with the big rock, bash ‘em in the head.

    6. Bowling ball. Awesome.

    5. Fireworks. Throw something like an artillery shell in the middle of a zombie horde and watch the zombies fly. You’d better be on the roof or something though because it might send zombies your way.

    6. Bass Guitars. They’re big enough to be use just like axes! Seriously! And if that don’t work, kill ‘em with your rock!

    5. Piano Wire. Act like an assassin, sneak up behind a lone zombie, and cut his head off.

    4. Cricket Bat.

    3. Live bears. Or elephants. I have no idea where you would get one, but if you were near a circus, and you had a trained bear or an elephant, it would prove very usefull. Or it might kill you.

    2. Gravity. If you’re on a roof, just push the zombie of the edge, assuming you’re wearing armour.

    1. That sword on the mantel. Don’t just leave it there idiot, it’s a friggen’ weapon! Sure for some reason there’s handgun ammo everywhere you go, but a sword is a ************* sword!

  17. I must agree about the piano wire, however, I would only use that as a last ditch effort, you still have to get a lil too close for my comfort, especially if you have to pass the hungry mouth to get to the neck.

    I would almost assume that stealing manhole covers would be a descent idea as well, after all, zombies do not climb, let the buggers fall down somewhere that no living person would be stupid enough to go to, or at least one with any common sense. This may not capture all of them, but since they do not look down they will eventually fall in, only to be ground up at the treatment plant at the end of the line.

  18. Marty Party

    excellent idea! manole covers could be utalized as a trap, if debris was placed to the sides of the manhole cover, it could funnel zombies into the sewers!

  19. a skillsaw. pick it up a battery powered version. it may be heavy but it’ll kill a few. not to mention slice off a few arms

  20. once the batteries run dead, you have the frisbee of death on your hands. I have tested this at work today, if thrown hard enough, it will penetrate a 2X4.

    Granted I got in a lil trouble for it, but, to test a therory, it was worth it.

  21. Obviously me

    Accuracy would be a big problem. And a shovel couldnt be much of a real weapon, I’ve tried it, its better then a 2 by 4, but barely. Sharpened isnt much of an improvement either, against singles is the only way you’d use it.
    A base-ball bat would take about 10+ hits to shatter the skull and damage the brain. A sword would get buried in the skull without piercing to the brain. Fire-works would alert everything that can see of your location. Glass splinters upon impact, slashing you and them, infecting you. Throwing it would weaken them, but not enough to bother pausing to pick it up.

  22. i truly, truly disagree with you on all but the glass and fireworks (partially).

  23. Apallo

    What about the machete? I have seen knives and swords featured, but not the humble machete? A good heavy one will cleave any part of the zombie you aim at!

  24. james

    Machete is one of the best i think, also the shovel is extremely bad for close rang combat (in a room, hallway ect.) i think they left out the best, the crowbar (smaller is probly better for close range) either work.

  25. harla

    best weapons.. Machete, sniper, 357 hand gun, throwing knives (if you got the skill), carbine (the range is good short and little distant), fuck.. havent yall read any Max Brooks books>?

  26. Toby Tortoise

    “I already own a 12 gauge shotgun, a .44 magnum revolver, a .22 rifle, and a .223/5.56NATO AR-15.”
    So you are going to hang around the zombies shooting at them until you run out of ammunition and get bitten in the neck? Or maybe you are going to whale at them with the shotgun until you get zombie in your eyes and go all frothy.

    Don’t you people realise that guns are only good against real people in real life? In a zombie apocalypes, the gun nut always runs out of ammunition because the pinko commie film maker wants to show the futility of worshipping guns. Except if you are a hot chick with a shotgun. I am going to guess that you aren’t. My recommendation is a sword, or a baseball bat with big nails in it. But the best weapon of all, running like fuck and hiding very quietly.

  27. mangvil

    10+ hits with a baseball bat jesus man are you like 95 lbs it would only take one if you knew how to swing it myself i would have a crow bar, a katana, a BFH (big f****** hammer) and a boot knife on me at all times and as far as fighting I’ll let you all go first and I will see wich wepons hold up and use those accordingly

    but you know I think the best wepon during a zombie apocolips would be a zombie. not to fight off other zombies butto kill all of you that I can’t stand and get away with it ” no officer he said he wasn’t gonna sit by and do nothing and the ‘turned’ him so I had to kill him”

    yeah I know it wont be easy to keep controle of one but if they could do it in 28 days then I’m sure I could use like one of those dog catcher rope pole things

    but if not you had better watch out cause zombies wont be your only cuase for concern

  28. jim

    yeah, i read the max brooks boor the zombie survival guide. i cannot say that i am really impressed though. especially in the weapons department. the M-16/AR-15 series is so much better than the AK rifles. I have used both in combat situations. The only thing the AK has going for it is it’s indestructableness (if thats a word) they really take a beating. However, they are not as accurate. I also dont like the location of the safety, but that is just personal preference. Additionally, max is way off on the “carbine” section. the M-1 carbine is a neat little weapon, but again suffers in accuracy. here in minnesota, they wont even let you deer hunt with them because the round is too weak. according to max, “the power and accuracy of a modern crossbow can send a “bolt” clean through a zombies skull at over a quarter mile. i would love to see that shot. a heavy, subsonic round travelling 400 meters through a zombies skull. That would be a once in a millenium shot if you ask me. just to heap it on:
    1)lever actions are the most inaccurate action
    2)M-16/AR-15 wpns butstocks dont break easily
    3)Mauser ammo isn’t as common as .308 win.
    4).303 british is even less common
    5)If you are hunting birds use birdshot in a shotgun, not for use with zombies
    6)unless a temple shot, .22 rimfire doesnt typically penetrate the human skull (needs a near perpendicular angle) at medium and longer ranges
    7)Suppressors (silencers to max) need subsonic ammo to work properly. otherwise you will still hear the “crack” of the bullet breaking the sound barrier
    8)Where the hell is joe citizen going to get a heavy machine gun (a M-249 is a light one by the way max) or even a flame thrower (which is still in use with the national guard max)
    and the list goes on….

  29. andraios

    You guys are dumb. i have thought long and hard of what the best zombie weapon would be…its a no brainer! Chuck Norris would kick the shit out of anyone or anything that even came close to him.

  30. mokatz

    What a bunch of noobs. Have you guys ever heard of robots? I would engineer a killer Roomba and have it destroy all zombies. Also maybe an R2D2-like model with swinging chains with heavy steel balls attached to really thin a crowd of wobbling dead fellas.

  31. Mike

    Hah, I own 2 military issue machetes, a ruger mini-14, a 350. Krag autoload, and a double-edged claymore! What more do I need?!?

  32. Dave

    Most of you are insane ! The best weapons you have are : (1) Your bodies, you need to train by lifting weights and running on a regular basis. (2) Your minds, you should use recourses available to you now. Survival training, shooting training, first aid, driving, and other worthwhile training. You also need to read a large assortment of manuals on the equipment you have or may get and items you may find gathering supplies. I have 6years in the Marines and know what combat is after 5 years in Iraq. Be prepared and be ready to defend yourself.

  33. kydrow

    ha ha i have you all beat,i have a sks,4 remington 870’s in 12, 3 stagecoches in 20, about 34 or 35 22′, 5 .50 cal muzzle loaders, a ak, ar-15 in 30 cal, and my most powerful handgun my 44 rem magnum smith and wessan redhawk

  34. Dave

    kydrow your a poser! When it happens people like you are going to be targets for those of us that are ready for the outbreak. I own: 2 AR-15’s, 40 – 30 round mags., 5000 rounds .223, 2 12gauge pumps, M1 grand, 100 – 8 round mags., 1000rounds 30-06, 1300 rounds 12 gauge shells, Weatherby 28 in 30-06, 2 – .22rifles ( ruger 10-22, and trail master .22 ), 1100rounds of .22lr., Beretta 92, 12 – 16 round mags., Ivers 9, 14 – 13 round mags, 800rounds 9mm., Glock 21, 15 – 12 round mags., Ruger Red Hawk .45acp. revolver, 1200 rounds .45, and my other weapons: Full tang (hand forged) short sword, Compound bow and 30 arrows (which I hunt with an a regular bases.), and assorted axes,and other tools.

  35. tom

    Dammit Americans and your guns, we aren’t allowed them over here in the UK so we’d either have to steal one off an armed policeman or go without. When it comes to zombie apocolypse we ONLY think about melee. So we don’t rely on ammo, and are more resourceful, (knuckle dusters, weed wackers, with knives attached, chain saws :D ) guns would just be a massive bonus. If it ever happens make sure we keep in touch to find out whos doing the best :)

  36. JJ

    Ok even if ammo is a problem a Claw hammer and a Air driven Nail/Staple gun will keep zombies off your lawn for a long time. Please try not to forget about Propane tanks w/flares and a single well placed bullet. Back up weapons include take that shovel you all are whining about and duck-tape/epoxy a iron or two to the inside. Lets improve the force at which you hit them. Gun’s i’m not even getting into, to many friends that are ex-seals…thats covered. Please everyone dont forget about explosives, there are so many that have that kick without being flamable.

  37. zombieslayer

    are you guys kidding me? the chick from resident evil would be the best weapon and in the last movie she’s got like 10,000 clones, hell we could all have one.

  38. djb28

    In my opinion, the most effective weapon combo would be:
    1: High-powered rifle, for long ranges.
    2: good pistol or sawed-off shotgun for close ranges.
    3: sword or machete for when you run out of ammo. (use them to cut off limbs and heads, don’t try to stab.)
    4: hammers, crowbars, or baseball bats for when your sword goes flying and lands 20 feet away. (happens in every movie, so watch out.)
    5: explosives, ideally fragmenting, if you need to clear a room or whatever.

  39. Cory

    I would grab my .22 and 12 gauge along with a baseball bat and a hammer. But what about vehicles? I personally would take my truck stock it with supplies and friends/family with weapons and search my town for an armored car, preferably a swat van. A military helicopter would be nice too.

  40. I believe that the Zombiephile forgot one crucial weapon. The all powerful and handy-dandy crowbar! not only can it puncture a zombies head but can be used to open sealed things. hammer nails into boards to fortify defenses. and when in doubt can be throw at a zombie for a clean head removal

  41. As this Zombiephile has pointed out time and time again, one thing you want to avoid are weapons that cause a large amount of blood spatter – so shotguns, explosives, chainsaws, and so on are RIGHT OUT!

    This is the thinking – there’s no idea how zombieness is spread, and if you subscribe to the 28-Days Later mentality, one drop of zombie blood in your system is enough to turn you. What about inhaling a fine mist of aerosol zombie blood? I’m not taking any chances, personally.

    Gotta go with Kaigon (as usual) on this one – crowbar should definitely have made this list.

    JJ’s got a point – us Americans may be a little light on the melee combat. I think we could all consult Shaun of the Dead for a good luck at the importance of a good old cricket bat.

  42. Jonno

    Chainsaws are the worst Idea out, think about it, the zombie infection is spread through bodily fluids,so you will get bleed on if your using a chainsaw, and the blood will go into your screaming, chainsaw happy mouth, then you will die.

    I’m from Australia so we don’t have all that many guns, but we do however play cricket, and a cricket bat is very handy, you can crush a decomposing skull with it, and thiers little to no blood.

    Plus guns can be unrealyable, they can jam (if not taken care of), you mostly need experience with guns to get headshots, guns run out off ammo,in a zombie outbreak everyone is going to go for guns, which means less for the average person,think about it, you go searching for a gun and it’s not their what do you do now? you were reliying on finding a gun, so you’ll be screwed.

    A crowbar is a good choice also as, most people have one, and it doubles as a prying device.

  43. Right on, Jonno! A fellow chainsaw-hater! Cricket bats forever! And don’t forget that guns are noisy!

  44. Jealy

    Yes!, its nice to see another Aussie here. I too am from the land down under.

    anyway, im partial to all forms of one on one combat, personally i would go for an aluminum base ball bat, you know easy to swing and does a LOT of damage to a zombies head.

    also i don’t think anyone has touched on protection from being infected them self’s, via blood or bite, i’m thinking some form of scavenged armor, if your on the run and can only use what you can find…what do the rest of you guys think?

  45. Deathweeps

    They way I see it is ball bat, knife, pistol(weapon of choice, only for no way out scenarios ),and a back pack filled with canned food,sugars, and bottled water. People seem to think high up one way in one way out places are good…there not. Like attics, or panic rooms or other stupid closet like areas are okay,uh…no, somewhere secluded, wide open but know your saftey areas and escape routes. As far as clothing for protection, I thought at first well maybe 3 layers of sweats, easy to move lots of padding for potential bites but eh it would get hot which in the long run would slow you down and use up more food and water then you intended. Maybe leather perhaps?? Like what bikers wear but nice thick black leather to put a sudden absorbing stop to nail scratching and biting, combat boots, nice and thick and are pretty much all terrain. Gloves as well, but fingerless or what? Cuz with snow gloves not good enough grip and the ones that do have grip on them are thin, same with leather gloves so….dunno? And a gas mask and helmet of some sort, dont need a zombie pukin’ on ya or some undeads blood splattering on your face and getting in your eyes or mouth…

  46. Zach

    Funny I read these and sorry to say some are just sad…it actually worries me not so much that zombies will actually happen but in a post-apocalyptic time for what ever reason where survival of the fittest is key. But back to zombies..a pizza cutter to close quarters, same with the switch blade which I think we all agreed on. The basic idea is the scenario, enemy, resources, and retreat. Obviously the enemy at hand is more then likely contagious or as far as it seems from what we know, therefore you would like to keep at least a 3 foot radius away from them, yay? A ball bat of any kind, metal is popular becuz it can take more wear and tear. I would simply, not to be all village people on you but bikers leather, its thick and can take scratches and bites without being dented, a double arm lengthed melee weapon, a bat or crowbar or broom but hopefully something light weight and sturdy(ball bat),a pistol for those last resort moments where there is no way out but through 20 zombies, pistols hold lots of ammo and are accurate but only use for last resort, a backpack with lots of sugary foods, canned goods, and only bottled water, with the foods you should get everything you need so alls that is left is water so no soda…everything here is basic and lightwieght you dont need more or less depending on the time frame, oh and go somewhere secluded but not an attic, no places where its one way in and one way out to hell with that a mountain or large hill where you can see it coming but know your exits and little paths along the way somewhere high where it will take them ages to get to and oh by the way zombies can climb and crawl….

  47. teenacious

    i acctually think the best weapon against a zombie is ur brain god think people there zombie there stupid, slow and ugly but most people aree faster than a zombie and smarter than one to so just think it over and yeah grab a baseball bat or a knife but they are all secondary weapons campared to ur brain

  48. DaBigHotChocolate

    YOUR brain? Really? Are you sure about that? Apparently the the use of spell-check isn’t part of that arsenal, huh?

  49. ryan

    no-one mentioned the trusty seven iron golf club

  50. GlowingOtaku

    my top ten weapons would be

    1. shotgun
    2. katana/other knives (i collect)
    3. guitar (works as club)
    4. fire poker (works as spear or club)
    5. 4 sharp knives tied to the end of a rack handle (epic spear)
    6. lawn mower blades (anyone who has looked under a mower will know that the blades are basically handless machetes…just roll a rag and duck tape on the end and it works well)
    7. Sobe bottle (works in desperate situations and there hard enough to work as a club)
    8.Butcher Knife
    9. bo staff (works defensively to push them out of your way or hold them at bay)
    10. cabinet door

    These are what would work best for me cause its what i have redily available

  51. SC

    The noble crowbar is a tragic omission here. It’s sharp and sturdy enough to fill a zombies mouth, then rip the jaw off. That’s the next best thing to a kill. And it’s still heavy enough to break some arms, which is the next best thing again. Just don’t use the bill end. It’ll get stuck.

    Otherwise, great article.

    Additionally, if you’re lucky enough to own one a bill hook is a tremendous weapon.

    Evade.
    Defend.
    Rebuild.

  52. zombiekilla

    havent you guys heard travel light strike hard. use the special forces mentality if you dont have to engage the enemy……….dont. find a safe route around until you build up your numbers and firepower. if you have to engage or have been engaged…..act accordingly as to keep you and your team safe.

    and on another note……….chainssaws and shotguns blow i for one dont want to be close enough to smell the zobies breath

  53. Castraikron

    I prefer a crow bar and i have an ACTUAL kitana with a 4 foot blade and after seeing I AM LEGEND i always keep a skrewdriver in my nightstand

  54. yukikaze

    where i come from in australia some people go boar hunting and i know web site that sells boar spears it has good length is very strong because you are hunting boars and you can also buy a holder for it buy a few of them and you should be fine.

  55. yukikaze

    crowbars are also good at opening doors as well as a weapon but make sure you knock first because there might be a zombie in there. knocking make sure if it empty or not because a zombie hears you knocking and makes noises so you know to be prepared or not.

  56. yukikaze

    the best rifle to get is a millitary bolt action rifle. also the ammo must be easy to get. A millitary bolt action rifle has a harden stock so you can smash there heads.the reason you should get bolt action rifle is so you dont go crazy and go shoot auto, semi auto and waste your ammo because you dont want to run out of ammo when it is needed. Single bolt gun with a good scope makes you pick your shots carefully and try and get a silencer on it because you only need to get there heads remember one shot no more than that and you will be fine.

  57. yukikaze

    I am collecting machetes. I have two military machetes and a life saving bowie knife which has a compass at the end and is hollow which hold matches fishing line and sewing stuff. I also suggest you get a survival box from an army surpluss store and a fire starting kit. Stay away from hand guns and revolvers because you have to get close to the zombie and there goes your accurracy and hitting the head with power of some hand guns just dont cover it. and goverments in countries like australia have very strict gun laws so even getting a gun is like inpossible. and then the firearms a quite standard no semi or auto and no pump action shotguns to be found. so I suggest a crossbow with a rifle scope on it plus get the fishing part that comes with certain crossbow so you can live on the sea and land as well as kill zombies but this can only be done with single zombies so if there are more join a group.

  58. blablabla

    m1 garand, beretta 92fs inox, sig sauer p226, machete… yup, got em all. ZOMBIES BRING IT ON!

  59. cutter

    think logicly you are probably not going to find a working m1 garand with ammo your going to need shotguns and pistols you also need knives for quick melee attack

  60. War

    go to your local gadering or farming store and find all sorts of weapons from pick axs, axs, scythes, knifes, one and two handed hammers, two and one handed crow bars,screw drivers, and wretches. all sorts of nice shit. personally i go with a pick ax.
    go ahead and go to a tractor supply store or anywhere like.
    ice picks are allso a great weapon. much better than a knife.
    a large explovise object ((with a long fuse))in the middle of a thin plastic bottle ((those eco friendly one that don’t have alot of plastic)) surroded with small pepples ((not too many not to few)), makes a nice fragment gernade. ((never tried it and i don’t want to))
    machtes aren’t a great weapon, good yes but pointless

  61. brian

    i ave an mosin nagant i taped binoculars to it an i have a 43. old countried luger w/ a hair trigger both legal of course someone tell me wat ima missin m i ready??

  62. Beatleboy

    I would just weld knives, blades, anything sharp to the front, sides, and back of my truck. Since I live in NJ, I would drive up to the Yukon and just live there for 6 months, then see how everything is, wether or not the living humans won. But if I ever had to get involved in combat, I would use my twenty-five pound iron crowbar, a machette, a metal baseball bat, and a can of bugspray/lighter (instant flamethrower). I would wear a thick leather jacket, boots, jeans with shin guards, and a pair of sunglasses so I look cool while bashing in the head of a zombie. I say ditto for the supplies you bring, as they are a necisitty, but I would also bring a couple fireworks. Shawn of the Dead showed us how the melee is done!

  63. yukikaze

    what I would like to know is where you get a real katana in western australia. because most of them are fakes.
    I do have machetes but there not long enough

  64. […] good people at Zombiephiles are trying to save your […]

  65. Nic

    just thought id put my 2 cence in..i didnt read all this but get a shotgun..saw the stock off cut the barrel down..then lets say you have a wooden table..cut a square out of it then pound nails so the go out the front side nial 2 leather straps on in the middle..u have a shield but a weapon on it! then pieces of chairs lik the long legs or back pieces, get a bunch of those pound a couple nails in the end of them u have an arsenal if u loose one laed them away or pound yourway throu with the shotgun

    another good thing i read was paino wire..boobytraps!! stand that stuff head high but a couple strands then nail it to the doorway..get a 20ish zombies to follow you and run them rite into it,make sure to duck tho!

  66. Fool

    I’d say that a good zombie killing weapon would be the axe.
    Blunt or stabbing weapons might get a few hits in but you’d have to rely on accuracy in going for the head.
    With an axe you could just hack off a couple of limbs but taking off the head being the first goal to achieve.
    The beyond best weapon would be a sword :) but they obviously aren’t too common.

    As for range weapons… I’d firstly have a sword because you don’t have to rely on bullets. But if I did have a ranged weapon it would be in the lines of long ranged, accurate, and doesn’t need lots of reloading.

    For close range weapons, definitely the shotgun. You don’t need accuracy because the zombie would be right there in front of you, and the buckshot would be useful against more than one zombie.

    Best weapon combo: sword, rifle/sniper rifle of some sort, and a shotgun. There you have hand to hand weapon and long/short range.

  67. What would be sick is havin a flamethrower to burn those undead to a crisp. Unfortuanately, running out of fuel would be a common occurence, SO DITCH AND RUN! Would be worth those sweet, sweet, ten seconds.

    Man, if I spend to long on this site, my face’ll explode

  68. Vincent

    A zombie on fire is more dangerous than a zombie not on fire, as not only will it not kill it immediately, but it also wont stop it from coming near and grabbing you; setting you alight as well as being bitten.

  69. Hey at least its methodical you’ll die before you turn into a zombie :P

  70. Chardson

    You really think you can slice a zombies head off with a switchblade? Do yourself a favor, buy a goat, or even a rabbit, and do your damndest to “slash” it’s head off. Chances are, you’re going to be sawing away for quite awhile before you get the head off.

  71. Chardson

    I disagree, “Fool.” Swords and axes have what I refer to as the “stick factor.” Plant a sword in a chunk of brain and bone and it’s not going to come out easily. A good mace, if you can find one, would do excellent, due to its ability to crush skulls without sticking. Of course it can’t be spiked, or you’ll still have stick, but spikes were designed to pierce plate armor anyway. A Hammer also won’t do because of the protrusion, which will also stick. A baseball bat would make a decent substitute, the problem being breakage, weight, and slippage. Get yourself a good mace before the necropocalypse, you’ll thank me later.

  72. Jesus

    (first of all sorry for my bad english)
    wow guys weapons are not everything, most of the people with weapons are dumb and/or dont know how to use them properly
    Well obviously you wont be in a city with a rifle and a pistol killing zombies, thats suicidal..there are more important things (like ammo lol), wear light but durable clothes, be clever, weapon training, be on good shape, strategy: know where the f*** you are going in case a zombie outbreak comes (and have a B plan & C), food, water, a vehicle, clothes, a medical kit with morphine or at least the basical meds in case you or someone gets injured (obviously not zombies..we all know what happens when a zombie bites or w/e)
    also dont carry a “lot” of guns, its better to have a lot of ammo for 2 weapons that have a lot of weapons (well thats obvious)

    close combat weapons? sorry to say this but if someone stucks a knife in the chest of the zombie (honestly, in a lot of cases 1 vs 1 with a zombie you will either be scared or wont have a chance to stuck the knife in the head)..the zombie will have the opportunity to bite, they dont care if you knifed em..they just want to “eat” you..
    not saying that close combat weapons are bad, but preferably use something with a bit of range and powerful or something you are familiarized with (machete or a bat will work for me)
    Flamethrower? lol thats dumb “flame em”…they are un-dead they wont care a lot if they are ugly, burning, or without a leg etc.
    Explosives, mhm well they would save you from a small group or escaping from a horde…but like someone said in this post you would atracct more, so after using explosivesm,escape.
    Did i miss something?

  73. inzanegunz

    for cheap armor try finding football pads, soccer shin guards, elbow pads, leather jackets, or even clothes wrapped in duct tape or electrical tape. For those of you who don’t believe the tape armor, have you ever tried biting through a pair of jeans wrapped in tape?

  74. austin93906

    i personally would trust my mosin nagant M38 carbine, because ive seen what it can do, and my Mini-14, due to its accuracy (at least I can shoot it accuratly) and its reliable function. although i would have to say that the mosin M44, with its folding spike bayonet would be nice too. any of the mosins could also be used as a club if needed, or firewood, or an oar for that extended hide out in the middle of a lake lol. hell, you can spear someone across the room with the bayo on a M91/30.

  75. The Frank

    I personally think that id stick with my machete’s as long as you have a sharpener of some sort and have a couple machete’s i think you can survive and i kno it may sound a little stupid but for just facing a few zombies at a time id be smart to have one machete in one hand and have a small kind of hand sheild in the other to like whack them away or push them back giving u time to get a nice swing to the neck with your machete =D , but ov course if i could eventually get to some guns and get a good place to hide thad be better like i believe i would go to some kind of grocery store but not one thats really popular but one that just has enough food to live off of for a while nd live on the roof.

  76. teh oblivious to all

    okay i have duct tape that you can just smack on an infected person’s face when they push you down, a 150 lb. draw weight crossbow with telescopic sights and a trigger that has a range of 300 feet maximum for sniping from high positions, a 4 feet long sword made of carbon steel that i clean and practice with every week at the mountainside, a 50 lb. draw weight composite reflex bow, and two pool sticks duct taped at one end with any sort of large knife, good for stabbing through zombies’ heads from a barricaded position like the Spartans do it

    oh ya molotov cocktails are easy to make: just take a bottle of alcohol, cut a nice opening inside the cork, stuff it up with tissue that reaches down into the bottle, and to use, simply light up the tissue, and throw into a pit of dead infectees for decontamination

    has anybody heard of counteracting a bite by burning it? you could ignite the infected tissue and burn it away then wrap the wound tightly with gauze to decrease blood flow, and wait and pray for your friend or you to survive

    theres no way you will survive if you are bitten in your torso or neck

    bye guys!!

    oh yeah.. forgot to hand these out!!

    Survival philosophy # 1: Never let your guard down
    Survival philosophy # 2: Mobility and stealth are your best friends
    Survival philosophy # 3: Scavenge, stockpile, sustain
    Survival philosophy # 4: Plan, prepare, organize
    Survival philosophy # 5: Keep track of the time
    Survival philosophy # 6: Keep well-fit and healthy

  77. shawn

    guys don’t forget anything noisy foot steps are heard and retards that are bickering back a forth about where to go are heard as well so basically you are going to be heard and need adaquate protecion
    Switch blade (last resort of corse)
    machete (for close range
    Pistol (do i need to explain)
    and last but not least
    Main gun of your choice

    depending one what you want to do, any of it you will need to be organized make classes and work in teams

    Close range
    any pistol (just make sure if you want only pistols to caryy three or more) one for back up and two to weild at once

    Medics
    they need to carry the same thing, but carry food water and most importanly plain liquid bleach nothing treated/ anf or rubbing alchol( higest percentage is recomended) and have to have boy scout like skill set know how to make fire and every thing

    Stay putters these are the people that stay at the safe house and keep communcation on people

    Pistol/ shotgun and lots of ammo
    most of the time are the leaders (walkie talkies are a surviors best freind when in a survisl situation) gps to. to any tech geeks i bet you now a trick or two about gps and can pin point spots through stuff as simple as google earth( just the other day i was able to accuratly target in 4 mock strikes

    drivers
    they have the most dangrous job usally armed with psitols and shotguns (unless you are in a gang full auto guns are hard to come by especally because most avarge joes won’t just go out and get a license) they drive trucks/ buses and helis etc/ what they should do is get a auto license. ( because of a lwa passed only guns that are before 1983 can be automatic and still legal. lots of ammo and put it on their vehicle armor and drive around being bad ass

    Snipers (no further) no 50.cal’s great for hitting long long long long ways away but why worry when they are already that far away. (but keep it in your repatware If not else it’s better than nothing

    and combat peeps
    Pistols shotguns rifles and carbines M4 great choice
    ak (not a carbine but also a great choice)
    M16
    any thing not bolt action

  78. shawn

    i only agree with the survival philosphys however as i said before number two is going to the hardest to do

  79. why yall on bout gunz n shit??? do it the hard nut way, a good ol baseball bat to the face will knock em out, then crack thir skulls open, then put a grenade inside their mouths and run for dear live

  80. thats my way of doing things, damn id love if a zombie outbreak happend now,

  81. Brentosthefreshmaker

    Okay.. so I have heard the downside to all guns.. and knives and other such thoughts. I ask another question. In the heat what would the top Vehicle for a Zombie outbreak

  82. m-v

    A bicycle, easy. Doesnt run out of fuel, easy to fix if it breaks down, you can carry it over things, it works perfect in basicly all terrains and its pretty silent so as not to draw attention. Allthough it does lack that wonderfull ability of being able to plow through thick swarms of zombie and mushing them into zombie soup.

  83. jbraff

    in the real world a zombie is gonna work just like a crazy person that eats people if you hit them in the head it will knock them out shoot em in the heart it will kill them same as the head if you want to stop them dont think as if there zombies that makes it to crazy just think of them as another person and how you would kill a person

  84. if i were to go and fight zombies i would us a riot shield 3 moff coktails an aa12 shotgun an ak 47 a chain saw and a machette if they got close to me

  85. The Slaya

    so maybe the splatter thing does prove a disadvantage, but any of you ppl considered getting one of those paint masks. you can get plenty at a local hardware store and they’ll be immune enough to allow chainsaw blood splatter, although a chainsaw IS NOT my weapon of choice

  86. The Slaya

    and a good idea is to get an apocolypse plan ready with some friends so that you have your survival plan. me and my friends already have plenty of maps printed with stradegies drawn on them. we looked up where almost every armory in my state is and put most of them on our travel route.

  87. Jake

    iv’e got my zombie survival kit already prepared so i dont need this, iv’e got my crossbow,knifes, samuri sword,explosives, and just for back up, a very strong co2 pistol to hold them off a little bit.

  88. The Slaya

    is the samurai sword u have real? cuz u gotta remember that if it’s cheap metal and not an original ur sword is gonna kill 1zombie, maybe 2 if ur lucky. and a crossbow would be bad cuz of the amazingly slow reload time. u bettter have a mask for those explosives

  89. zach

    i got a 9mm model c9 luger with like 15 extra clips id make sure to use only hollow point bulletsand id swap the clips when im fighting zombies and reload all them later when im safe, but other than that i got a 12 gauge single shot shot gun with a bunch of buck shot rounds for when a zombie is a little close for comfort or while indoors, and checking rooms for zombies, but meele weapon would have to be somthing quick and efficiant cuz im carrying a sorta heavy hand gun and shotgun on my back (ill prob saw the barrel and stock to reduce the weight)but a light weight aluminum bat would be good or a razor sharp scimitar whitch i dont have right now.

  90. zach

    jake will be a zombie still holding his girly co2 pistol with home made dildo bomb up his bum

  91. The Slaya

    so ive done some investigating of my house for things that i never knew i had and i found a CRAPLOAD of zombie killing devices.I’m a more melle fighter, and i dont have a gun in my house so i might even be better off. Heres a list
    -5-10 knives. They’re all over my kitchen. I have serrated ones, and ik that those are 1 time use, but theyre light and thats one more zombie down
    -2 hammers. ones a generic use and ones heavy duty but u can smash their skulls right in. probably not gonna use the claw end though
    -Pickaxe. yea i have a double sided picaxe from landscaping las tyear. its heavy duty and can chop down trees for the weight of your average hammer! ones sides comes to point and theother side is a flat edge.
    -4 screwdrivers-ya ever watched i am legend? ’nuff said.
    -handsaw. with a couple chops u might have their head off. its light and its another weapon so im probably gonna use it like the serrated knives.
    -Really big pair of pliers. Most of the tool is the metal pointy part, and its light, and extremely durable.

  92. steven

    i from england and if this happened to me i know wot i’d do…
    (this is before the zombies have flooded the city)
    i’d go to the cadets near by and get thier L98’s and all of the ammo, ration packs and clothing i can put into a vehicle. i’d then go to the asda(a supemarket) and collect all of the food, clothing and batteries possible (only tinned food and bottled water). i’d then go to my school and climb to the roof of the sports complex and park the car in a high-fenced area at the back. from here i’d put all of my stuff under covers on the roof and in the back area as well as making ‘supply dumps’ for emergencies. i’d then get all of the javelins and sharpen the ends and put them on the floor pointing diagnolly up (,like the spartans did). these would at least stop the zombies. i’d put all of the shot puts on the roof so i can drop em on the zombies. i’d then get all of the knives, bats, hammers , crowbars ect from around the school and local area. i’d get the wire mesh of the windows and protect the car with it. (i have chosen this place as there is loads of ways out and is easy to defend as well as it being very hard to get on the school grounds). i wud find about 6 survivors and i’d move evry couple of days or so.
    (sorry its so long)oh yeah, u better get something to entertain yourself as when there are no zombies around or you will go CRAZY.

  93. steven

    the supply dumps wud b in lots places around the city

  94. steven

    i’d use the clothes as padding, bandages and anything else possible and i’d also try to get a mask

  95. the best thing is a baseball bat or a 1 foot knife!!!!!!!

  96. Jay

    Wow, it scares me to know that, according to these comments, the zombies would have a ball (if their brains worked like that… which they wouldn’t)
    I hope that almost everyone here isn’t serious, because if you are then Zach has a lot better chance than i thought.
    Blades get stuck, knives are too short. Baseball bats and Crowbars (Jimmy bars) are ideal. And only use guns if you are positive you are safe for the moment, because you will run out of ammo, and you will be found.
    Weapons i’ll have on me;
    A baseball bat. (aluminium)
    A crowbar (jimmy bar)
    A pistol,with a small box of 500 rounds anda suppressor if possible. 9mm (38.)
    MAYBE a long bowie knife as an absolute last resort.
    Mind you this is for survival. All of you who intened on “Hunting” Zach are, for lack of a better word, stupid. You should only attack in defence, of yourself or others. And maybe for sport IF you survive long enough with a group and experience to ensure fortification of something.

  97. sean

    dude, freak this, gun, and a shovel, and garden clipers are the best!!!! trust me, oh and stay alert of zombies, or you’ll die! now onwerd to the zombie killing!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya ya yaya

  98. yosauceh

    I dont know what its like anywhere else, but where I live, not everyone has a shotgun, katana or even a crobar. Improvised sports gear would easily be the best; Baseball bats or hockey sticks would do fine.

    Knives wouldnt do to well as they are for slicing soft tissue rather than hacking through spine or crushing a skull. the only way you could realy use a knife would be a stab through the eye and lets be honest, could anyone actually land that presise a stab?

    Everyone who says to use a chainsaw would find that it would be too encumbersome and has a finite fuel source.

    I definatly agree with Jay on the sharp weapons thing, decapitation would be impossible with anything short of a machete or hatchet and even then, most the time it would go half way through. Remeber tudor executions? with a specialised 2 handed axe and a cler, unmoving target most the time it took more than one swing, so with a one handed weapon and a moving target….good luck. As for using a sharp object to swing at the skull itself would we like attacking a log of wood, it would penetate very far and would most likely get stuck. I would still carry a hatchet but for its intended use rather than as a weapon.

    Blunt weapons are more suited to crushing the skull, maybe damanding more physical strength but
    a) a downward hit an the skull is far easier and far more powerfull that a sideways hack to the neck
    b) it wont get stuck in the skull
    however sports gear would be weaker than industrial tools so would be less durable
    hammers have a short reach
    A crowbar, though not an everyday household item would be the best choice, lightweight, durable and can be of course used for its indended purpose.

  99. michael

    what about a recurve bow? i mean you can make an arrow out of practiclly anything and being a very active hunter ik that they are extremly easy and accurate to shoot at 100ft+

  100. Steve

    The m1 carbine and machete are the best weapons to have in a zombie outbreak from my point of view.

  101. james

    ive got a mini 14, 357 ruger, remington 12 ga katana and crowbar

  102. james

    ive got a mini14, 357 ruger, remington 12ga katana and a crowbar so im all set

  103. Lisa

    I envy all of you that have the guns in the US, me being from the UK is a problem but you will eventually run out of ammo then what would you do. And I’m not saying anything but thinking about fitness…america might not cope to well. I’m not saying Britains any better but we would be prepared to use melee weapons, even the police aren’t normally allowed guns I don’t even think we can use pepper spray! I think about zombie apocylapses often and have a few thoughts of what my weapons would be but when it comes to the time I will hide in the garage. There I have lots of weapons at my disposal and it’ll take a while for them to get in. I’d just use whatever was at hand Shaun of the Dead like, throw everything I’ve got. I think I might have a fridge in there somewhere not that it would be of any use but shovels, bats, cars, lawnmowers, hedge cutters I think I’m pretty much prepared.

  104. Steve

    Ya got a good point lisa

  105. The Slaya

    lol so i did some extra thinking about a good weapon set.

    -an m4 carbine (with a full butstock. this would help in last ditch melee because the normal telescopic would break from the slightest impact)They are semiautomatic, and as long as you have control, ammo cn be conserved, they are as accurate as any other assault rifle out there, easier to clean, and smaller/ lighter. The normal clip size is 30! all you’dd need would be 2 extra clips on the road, maybe 5-6 for fortress defense. THe ammo, 5.56x48mm is extremely common, proably topping off the easy to find rifle ammo.

    -2-3 extra hand grenades. hey, you never know when u gotta blow something up.

    -Katana/Crowbar. So they both have advantages and disadvantages over the other, katana is light and much better at killing zombies, but that’s all it can do. crowbar is heavier, a little harder to use, but also is able to use to break stuff down (windows,barricades,etc…)

    -Semiauto pistol. The m4 won’t work as well when the zombies are 5 feet away, in between your rifle and melee range. Pull this thing out and BAM easy headshot easy kill. Preferably a Glock, fairly accurate, large ammo size, tendency to almost never jam. Id carry 2 extra clips for it in my bag.

  106. Erretnorb

    Okay I live in the UK so my choices are based around that but they are more largely applicable

    First you want a long ranged accurate weapon, now in the UK this part is actually slightly tricky. Ideally you want a rifle, these can be obtained but are limited to bolt action and you need a legitimate reason (target shooting, hunting, pest control, not home defence). The easiest method to get a useful weapon (i.e. not a small bore .22 or similar) is to join a target shooting club that shoots full bore weapons. You will need to be a member with regular attendance for six to twelve months as a minimum and probably go on a gun safety course with an exam. You then need a full CRB (Criminal Record Bureau) check, be rated as mentally competent (i.e. no mental disorders), pass a home inspection (to check that the gun and any ammunition will be properly secured), be investigated by special branch (a plain clothes semi-secret police force that deals with crimes that have a political aspect) to make sure that you will not pose a danger to the population or national security if armed (basically making sure you are not in the IRA/UDF, Jihadist’s, WRA, Kombat 18, Anarchists, Trade Unionists, Socialists, any organisation they think may cause trouble really), you need to be vouched for by two suitable persons who must have known you for a minimum of two years (doctors, civil servants, policemen, nurses, teachers, AHPs that sort of thing). Based on this evidence you will either be passed to own a firearm or not by a committee. You will then have a licence to own a specific firearm. I’d recommend a good bolt action rifle with a scope, the short Lee Enfield and its derivatives (many in 7.62 nato), the K31, the Mauser 98 and its many imitators (the 7x57mm varieties in particular are well thought of) are all classic dependable rifles which have the added benefit of being robust enough to use as a club if necessary (most have metal butt plates which would only aid in head smashing). However it is important to find the rifle you are comfortable with as this will aid you in consistent and accurate shooting especially in stressful situations. You will note I haven’t talked about ammunition, this is because in the UK you will be hard pressed to find additional ammunition and when you do you will generally find a firearm capable of firing said ammunition with it, therefore you generally won’t have to worry about this issue. In the United States I’d recommend a semi-auto or bolt action rifle in a common calibre (.30-06, 7.62 nato or another common hunting/sport shooting round) as this will allow you to find ammunition (more of an issue in the USA). A scope is important, a bipod/monopod would be useful and a suppressor would be useful especially if you have sub sonic rounds available (even if it isn’t silent it at least makes locating the shooter (you) harder and means the sound will not travel so far).

    Second you want a quiet closer ranged weapon, I’d recommend a compound bow or crossbow. These are accurate and almost silent they are also powerful enough to get the brain (even if they died with a helmet (zombocalypse etiquette 101 people, if your bit take off the helmet if possible, leave others an easier job)). They are also fairly effective against body armour (crazed LMOEs, Reavers, etc) and often the ammunition can be retrieved (and if you learn how, you can make more). They are also useful for sending lines (in the remake of dawn of the dead this would have prevented the sewer from hell and all that followed due to this). A suppressed pistol with subsonic ammunition could do in a pinch, however these are illegal in the uk and you have the ammunition problems in the long run (though it is more portable in the short run).

    Thirdly you need a good close combat weapon, ideally piercing or bludgeoning (less spray that way and easy to get the brain). Ideally this is something like a war hammer, horseman’s pick, or a mace. However unless you are an avid collector or live in a museum then those are hard to get. The crowbar is an excellent substitute and has a practical tool use as well. A hammer, cricket/baseball/welsh baseball bat or similar will do in a pinch but is to be avoided if possible. An entrenching tool is another sensible option being both a weapon and a tool. In a group consider weapons that will keep the enemy away and control their actions (catch poles, spears (with cross bars!) and even long blunt poles all have their uses and can easily be improvised) will ensue that the confrontation is less dangerous for all involved.

    Transport
    Ignore cars, trucks, lorries, vans and motor bikes, they are loud, need fuel and are quite hard for the layman to fix, also the streets will be often impassible after a short while. I would recommend using a wheelbarrow or shopping trolley in an urban environment to move your stuff about (seems silly but its better then carrying it all) and in a rural environment a horse, donkey or mule (mobile and you can eat it if you have to), bicycles are sensible in both environments, especially if you have panniers or a basket, you don’t even have to ride it, load it with your gear and wheel it along, it will increase your mobility and help stop you from getting so tired.

  107. Crowbar+me-vs.-zombies+zombie carcass&blood.

    Is it the list in order (if so, 1 being worst or 1 being best?)????
    HELP!!!?!!!!

  108. Crowbar+me-vs.-zombies+zombie carcass&blood.

    Take a boat!
    Zommbies CAN’T swim.
    OR open doors.
    They can enter windows.
    They can’t fly either *hint* *hint*.

  109. Lisa

    Yeah we’re all just going to fly around forever aren’t we. That would be pretty hard. Or do you mean to live on a rooftop? That is more sensible, just bring a large supply of food.

  110. the one that will save ur life?

    First of all:no flamethrowers or molotovs cocktails during an outbreak;a zombie wont die within +/- 10 min. and do you want to set the place on fire?!? there wont be firefighters nearby with all the chaos so NO FIRE!!!

    if u live in cities or in a place were used to be a lot of people or even if your doubting other zombies can hear you:DON’T USE GUNS!!! you will be overrun by zombies in a matter of minutes!!! cause you are warning them by all the gunfire

    bring only canned food or food that wont get bad in a month .

    only encounter zombies when you have no choice at all and if you are in a group
    don’t be an asshole and just try to be nice for everyone .

    bring water!!!

    a flashlight will be a really great asset in your battle with the zombies .

    keep moving!!! if one zombie spots you during your journey to (a hospital,market,…) other zombies will follow that one zombie because they stay in groups most of the time .and if you stay in that hospital for 3 days or more u will be attacked by a horde of zombies most likely .

    Dont play video games like left 4 dead to ‘prepare’ urself for a possible zombie attack .No;rather do some push ups or go running ,STAY FIT!!!!

    if ur desperate jump in water zombies cant swim there to stupid^^

    if ur bitten run away as far as you can from ur friends who arent bitten .
    you will save your friends from urself and they will get less emotional(THEY WONT HAVE TO SHOOT THERE FRIEND)you will cange in a zombie when your friends are at safe range or out of sight .

    use gas masks(if thats a word) if ur lucky enough to get one .
    if there are zombie corpses all on the floor and the virus in the blood of the zombies gets in the air you will soon be one of them .

    use weapons that cause less or no blood spatters if one of them gets in ur eye or mouth or … you will also be soon one of them

    zombies have rotten flesh over time so they will decrease in weight. use this to your advantage .

    zombies may smell you so always keep an eye o n the wind and see if it changes its direction .

    sleep only in secured areas you dont want to waken up by a zombie who starts to eat you tough .

    dont keep zombies in a basement because that just stupid…

    if a zombie bites in ur finger or hand-i know its really,really shocking and cruel-but…chop ur finger immediately the infection may not reach the rest of ur body and then there is a chance u will survive .

    bring all kinds of health items they might save ur or someone else his / her life

    if u have no weapons at reach and a zombie comes charging towards you grab a zombie at his neck and throw it on the ground and then run .zombies have trouble with standing up because they have no coordination with there body .
    dont kick it in the nuts they dont feel pain anymore

    retreating is most likely a wise decision .

    if one of ur family has become a zombie don’t hesitate to long to attack because ur family now wants to eat you.

    dont let emotions take control over you and start shooting them up
    brains or no brains means zombie or human .and starting to be all reckless
    means no brains and that means ur on the same level of the zombies that makes u stupid and being stupid in a crisis means that ur most likely end up in the mouth of a zombie .

    i can go on and on about the survival during a real outbreak .
    however the chance of survival are small for everyone .
    If there are going to be that much people infected ur most likely going to be a zombie in that horde.Even a wise decision can lead you to ur death .
    so if survive an outbreak that means ur incredibly lucky .but i want to make one thing clear : a zombie wants to eat flesh . but he has barely blood so his brain will not function properly also his organs wont work .Soooo why does a zombie wants to eat? it doesnt feel-it wont feel hunger-it cant smell “the good smell of meat”-because the brain malfunctions it cant smell anymore-

    so plz tell me WHY DOES A ZOMBIE WANTS TO EAT?????????

    ps i know my english isnt all that good

  111. Sheldon

    OK the first five are fail a fucking towel rack u cant put a desent hole in dry wall, A SPATULA what ur going to make fucking pancakes for them? CANDLESTICK!! who the hell has a candlestick with any reach or heft to do any damage whats so ever, Kitchen knife ok i see the apeal but most now are so thin and flemsy that they bend when trying to stab through thick cardboard, and a rolling pin OK ill admit that if u had nothing else on hand yes use it but find something better fast

  112. the one that will save ur life?

    yeah ur right

  113. The Slaya

    i love the shovel though. you wouldnt need to sharpen it, theyre sharp enough on theyre own. There are special gardening shovels shaped like an elongated u, i think that would be much better

  114. WYATT

    I think a wooden baseball bat with sharp objects (nails,darts)would make a good weapon. I would really choose a AA12 but of course we all cant have one.

  115. Hell yeah.
    I would stick to my Katana!

  116. S

    The scenario assumes that you are at home and unprepared. So look around your house right now. That is all you get for now. You also probably have at best a few minutes before they get into your home. There won’t be enough time to create any kind of complicated weapon. Blunt weapons with plenty of reach are probably your best option. I would use a long length of metal pipe. I also have a sledgehammer that would work well. A flail of some kind might work but may be difficult to make in a hurry. What is the best weapon you have in your home right now for zombies?

  117. The Hunter

    You are all imbeciles. Melee is only good if you are a professional with your weapons, have great stamina, and have heavy armor. Improv weapons simply wont do the trick. Shotguns lack ammo, accuracy, range, and if you’re using birdshot, power. Handguns arent like CoD guys. Personally, i think most of you couldnt hit a human target at 25 yards. Rifles are the best option availible. Send a .223 round through a zed head and they’re dead. Accuracy and power. A more practical, cheaper, and more reliable weapon is the .22. Not very powerful, but with minimal practice, easy to use and accurate. 500 rounds of ammo is like $10. And weighs like a pound. Now im not saying stock up on 200000000 rounds and stand in the center of town. Grab a pistol, knife, food, water, and your rifle and go to the woods. Someone thinks that the woods are bad, but they have low population, food, and can be made into a handy shelter with an ax and a shovel. More short term i would suggest a local towns snack shack for kids sports. Ussually tough to handle burglers, located with long sight from fields, equipped with food and easy to defend(chain link fences can be made into barbed wire remarkably fast, and also provides good protection)

  118. The Hunter

    Back to state on shelter. Shelter has got to be a concrete or stone facility if the zombies are strong. Potential fortresses are relatively easy to think of. Two of my favorite are the underground shipping crate and the renovated concession stand. A concession stand(at least the three in my town, high school, park, and little league) are sturdy as can be, bricks and cement. Also, most keep some food on hand, though not alot. Its a good idea to stock whatever you can for your shelter before holing up. A lookout post is also a good idea, to clear out threats before going out. And signal survivors. The best shelter i can think of requires that most vehicles are abandoned. You grab what you can, preferably food and water, ammo and weapons, load into your car. Next, head out on the highway, find an area where there is dirt or grass but not too many trees or buildings. Next, get a truck, flatbed, pickup, whatever works. This may require many people, but get a CAT or any machine digger. Bring to grass. Dig large hole. Back a tractor trailer(preferably with lots of canned food and bottled water) into the hole and unhitch it. Leave and bury. Cut a hole and make a door. Make a rope ladder and head inside. Shoot holes into the top for air and cover with wood, metal, etc. Build irrigation ditches into your base using large collection areas draining into a small pipe. Purify using distillation. Scavenging is almost guaranteed to be required, but water and shelter should be taken care of. Feel free to add, i left stuff simple cuz im on my ipod.

  119. The Hunter

    Once more on long term solutions. That is, a year or more with total civilization collapse. Get on a boat! Any small fishing boat will do, but larger can’t hurt. Fuel would be a problem on larger boats though, while small boats could be propeled using electric motors and a few car batteries(which should be in large supply, just check a car). Use distillation to purify salt water and fish for food. Eventually, sail around and grab some survivors. Once strong enough, send out raiding parties to scavenge. For food, fuel, and anything else. Ensure that you have enough to go out before leaving. Get anything you would bring camping, plus weapons, plus fishing gear, plus defense materials. It’s likely that zeds can’t swim, however, if they can they’ll be seen from miles away. Build up the defense anyways.

  120. The Hunter

    A comment on defenses and traps. Traps are often frowned upon because they can kill survivors or yourself. To counter this, make traps visible and post notices. Build them simple, such as punji sticks, or deadfalls. To defend your safehouse, make sure there’s an area located up high where they cant get you, such as an attic or roof, so long as there is a way down and no way up. Use this area to scout before leaving, and giving an opportunity to engage threats. Use sharpened sticks, poles, and dig ditches to defend. Use chain link fence and wire cutters to make barbed wire. Be sure to wear gloves. Make sure you have enough supplies to get out of the chosen location. Molotovs are frowned upon but for this purpose, fire weapons work excellent, provided your base isnt wooden. A failsafe mechanism can be created through the use of simple firewood and a well placed match. Burn them while up high, and the fire will kill most and destroy much of their cover. Snipe the rest and bug out.

  121. The Hunter

    The necessary foods: a guide to scavenging and stockpiling. Keep your food close. Contrary to common belief, canned food isnt the best. Get some flour. Canned food is largely water, and is hard to replenish after z-day, when the shoppers stock up on canned goods. To stock up beforehand, get some canned meat and veggies, vitamins, and MREs. Military food good for just as long as canned, but with massive amounts of calories and nutrients.Scavenge anything that wont kill you. Even if it tastes horrible, food is critical. Also, scavenge water if theres any left. Weapons and ammo will come more likely from the deceased, or rather, undeceased. Now we come to encounter the question of killing other survivors. Any survivor posing a risk to you, other survivors, or your stockpiles must be killed. Another, similar option is to incapacitate them and relieve them of weapons, excluding weapons you can easily counter. This will allow thier defense while not weakening yours. Competition should be avoided if the other survivor(s) are stronger or more heavily armed.

  122. The Hunter

    Heres a reccommendation on skills to aquire before zday. Know languages, at least some common ones in basic. Shooting and CQB skills are obvious. Train with throwing knives(military style) to ensure reusable, stealthy kills. One area of interest may be in fletching, or arrowmaking. A bow can reuse arrows, tips are smaller than bullets and will rarely break. Archery is an important skill to have if taking this approach, practice drawing quickly. Improvisation is going to be an important skill, so learn to make stuff up on the fly. Take a rudimentary survival course. Food can be found all over, but so can toxins. Be cautious. Small game should be easily hunted, whether through thrown weapons, bows, or guns, but only if you can spot it. Take a fellow zday stockpiler and practice camouflage, stealth, and spotting. My personal choice is a ghillie suit, provided it isnt too hot out. In winter, ice can be attached to the outside of a woodland suit to no longer nessecitate two suits. Even rudimentary store bought suits blend well without much modification.

  123. David

    Toilet lid – weight set’s dumbbells – Car.

  124. The Hunter

    Now dont get me wrong, using an improv weapon is great- assuming every person kills 2 undead each, the pandemic would end eventually. But the ones who will survive fight in a less typical than horror movie/heroics fashion. Guns, knives. Homemade booby traps. Hiding like little girls. Face it, those who try to hold off endless waves of undead hordes DIE. Dont believe me, play CoD zombies. Thats not even acvounting for food, ammo, sleep, water, and the elements.

  125. The Hunter

    Just want to note. Everyones seen a zombie movie amiright? Well, for those who are unaware, every character is forced into CQB with a zombie at least once. Weapons and armor are crucial to have in this kind of emergency. I would suggest a full, non absorbant cloth balaclava, military grade helmet, full leather or kevlar jacket with bdu jacket, leather or kevlar gloves, jeans or bdu, and combat boots. Together a fairly bite proof outfit. The balaclave is for face protection from arial blood spatter and the like, while everything else is bite proof, bullet proof, and strike proof. I would suggest a small tomahawk in the non dominant hand as it requires less precision. The dominant hand requires a precise weapon, such as a USMC ‘real’ Ka-Bar. Useful for stabbing and slicing with precise, quick motions.

  126. The Hunter

    Alright, with that being most of what im willing to disclose, im here to talk about fun n games. I love all zombie games. L4D, nazi zombies, etc. Try out Zombie Pandemic, its a fun game but also somewhat realistic. Join [UH] Undead Hunters. PCE!

  127. ismael

    what about my fuckin bass, will it own zombies?

  128. The Hunter

    Oh my god! I laughed so hard the other day. I was at walmart- did you know that machetes cost less than tricolor face paint? Honestly i was checking out the outdoorsman section and machetes were like 5 bucks. The green, white, and yellow face paints were more than 10! I am so grabbing five or six of those and stashing them around my house.

  129. […] a little tongue in cheek….first, don't discount the common household items you already own : Zombie Defense – Ten Zombie-Slayin’ Weapons You Already Own! | The Zombiephiles – Becaus… And if that doesn't frost your flakes, then you may want to choose something from here : Zombie […]

  130. […] artículo de zombiephiles.com: "Seguro, matar zombies con una pistola parece natural (…) Pero durante un verdadero ataque […]

  131. Im in England so good CQC forethought is essential.

    My first stop is the local National Heritage Castle/ Medieval Museum. Chainmael shirt to prevent biting, pick up a warhammer or poleaxe/halberd (or if you have decent transport, both).

    I have a katana, but I don’t know if its real or display only, so I have no idea it would hold out.

  132. Shoot give me 5 10-22 rifles and 5 marlin model 60 and about say 50,000 rounds of ammunition I’ll be set for life sit back in the fort sniping zombies from good distance the 10-22 is effective up to maybe 30 yards for me and the marlin is effective maybe 25 yards

  133. Ghetto Cowboy

    Well talkin ’bout household items i have in my bedroom 2-4 steel rods about 4-5 ft long,a chair,a small fan,some hangers,a pocketknife,a glass jar(best used as a projectile),a small cooler,soda cans(again projectiles)cabinets,a book(my civics book,time to put it to goode use,lol)an ashtray(MORE projectiles!!!!) 2 curtain rods,an ipod charger(which can be used as a swingin weapon)Im not the best equiped guy in the world but I can protect my self pretty goode.

  134. Alhazred

    …to be honest… i think you’re pretty screwed. :/

    ah. no offense intended of course. its just that… without some spur-of-the-moment mcguyver action… i don’t see many of those objects aiding in your quest to “remove the head or destroy the brain” i mean… airborne cancer dish? great white twirling ipod charger of doom? seriously bro. i think you may want to start reading books instead of flinging them about willynilly.

  135. Kowala

    All of these are very good ideas, but i think i have one thant could send any zombie back to hell: The United States Military. Let’s see how well the zombies can bite that.

  136. justice

    did you guys here about the end of the world tonight

  137. justice

    a bunch of retards from school said the zombies are from russia

  138. zombie kong

    pipe wrenches are a terrible idea, trust me, being a commercial plumber, they are very heavy. go to a lowes/ home depot. they have several interesting bludgeoning weapons in the happer department and also axe/ hammer hybrids, of all shapes and sizes

  139. Guilherme

    You know what would be an awesome weapon? A combine harvester! LOL
    Imagine the heads and arms flying while you listen to ”Highway to Hell”!
    AC/DC + zombies = FUN!

  140. Guilherme

    Oh! And a Justin Bieber song.
    Every kind of zombie would have it’s head blown up just for listening to this sh!t lolololol

    (srry for the bad english, english is not my main language!)

  141. Matthew

    the best weapon is NOT FIGHTING stay in hiding only killing if one limps into your hideout. Also guns alert zombies to your location. If you must fight machetes are definitly best or a spartan phalanx (if you have a group of survivalist in a sword shop). The best ranged is a crossbow, it can silently kill and ammo is reused. although it only hols one shot but with stealth they wont know your there.

  142. mikhail petrov

    what about mustard gas just mix amonia,bleach and voila

  143. mikhail petrov

    hey ive got the best idea fo retreating!!!!!!!!!! go to the moon

    p.s i’m not russian but i wish i was

  144. mikhail petrov

    the guy who posted #1 did not think it through you’ll make a friggin hole in da wall a bum would like that idea. the car niiice XP ;)

  145. mikhail petrov

    hey rory 1 word hoora!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  146. mikhail petrov

    the number 1 weapon to use: me! you wont like me when i fart :D i got the idea from theese to facts as a combo fact 1 i farted in the kitchen next to dad. number 2 rory said zombies can smell (smells like crcasses)

  147. mikhail petrov

    forget the piano wire you cant sneak up on zombies *hint*

  148. mikhail petrov

    if i found a plane i would go all kamikaze on those maggot sacks i think i can lay a few more cards on the table:
    1 the computer keyboard
    2 blowtorch pyros love ‘em + its lightweight
    3 a tank
    4 minigun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    5 try the plane i mentioned
    6 coffee mug
    7 mr. president (take him instead of me) that was a joke
    8 razor wire shink splat! bring gloves. p.s i messed up i’m a little russian lol

  149. mikhail petrov

    vodka bottle! filled w/ gasoline + oily rag = jumbo molotov cocktail

  150. mikhail petrov

    that reminds me i had this dream that a zombie raided my school so i looked over my shoulder and i saw him! so i reached for i reached for the closeset weapon……..my pencil

  151. Craka G

    my prefered outfit would be my taurus 92 with all 8 of my mags loaded my mossberg 500 with my shell sling and both of my machetes im already prepared and waitin id kill to have a saiga 12 thoe u just cant go wrong with one a those beasts

  152. Looks like the bunch of you have your imaginations running wild. Laugh out loud. I’ll take all your fancy weapons after you die, thank you very much. If you want to survive you will need only 3 things. A fit body, a sharp brain and some water. If you have those, you will stay low for the first few days and take down any Zs with a kitchen knife if you have to. Being mentally prepared for the gore, and with a quick body, you could easily get behind a zombie and stab it in the temple. No guns required. Like at all. The water will allow you to stay hydrated for a few days, and within another few days, you will QUIETLY scavenge your neighbors houses for food, weapons, and “armor”. There will be plenty of all. The only problem will be clean water. You can easily dress in jeans, boots, gloves and other thick clothing. I’m absolutely sure you can also find hammers and crowbars later. There will also be some suicides, so you will eventually find guns. However, until you get silencers for them, they should be a last resort.
    If you want to get all detailed about this, you should get boots, shin guards, jeans, Kevlar armor,gloves, wrist guards and and military “face wrap”. All of those are going to be dark grey, and non-shiny. Going out at night will be the thing. I’m not afraid of the dark, and this will be awesome for two reasons. First of all, there will be no crazy greenhorns running around with guns they don’t know how to use, and I will be relatively safe from them. Secondly, zombies don’t have working tear ducts, and their eyes will get full of dust. Eventually, their vision will be that of nearly blind people. In the dark, they will be hearing oriented. This puts people like me, who know how to get around in the dark quietly and without filling our pants with goop at the top of the food chain. I will survive. For weaponry, I would prefer a katana, wakizashi, shuriken, and a dozen or so throwing knives. Eventually, I will find some pistols(silenced) and preferably a flash bang or too. Our military folks will no doubt try to fortify their positions, but simply get overrun by a mass of undead. Tall structures will eventually get overrun by those same masses when one zombie will fall. This will result in doggy piles, and lead to a moving mountain.(I don’t know why movies don’t ever get this.) In the end of the end, those that have water and ………………………………… will survive. Yea, that’s right …………..silence……………. will be the key to long term survival. Unless…. you live on an island that you cleared of the undead, have adequate rainfall, and planted food on.(This would be the perfect scenario actually.) Guns(noise makers) will only be appropriate if you have literally, THOUSANDS of ammo, and a small population in your region.

  153. Wanted to add emphasis on a few things… The US Army will fall. Fortunately, we have a “leave no man behind” policy which will kill us…er the US Army. They will take in people that have non-fatal bites just like the hospitals, and the military will crumple from the inside. Do not depend on the army. DO not depend on the sun rising again if you want to survive. Have backup plans for everything. Most survivors WILL NOT BE NICE. They will be survivors. Also, we have a government that is neck deep in secrets. This will also help the uninformed stay uninformed and……. consequently die. Also wanted to mention that quite the few of the survivors WILL DIE of diseases. On Z-Day, people will rush stores for food and weapons. Some smart guys will raid the pharmacy’s and get proper medications for future use. Most wont. Most also live in cities and will probably shit close to where they will eat. THEY WILL DIE. Now about weapons…… The human body alone is a weapon. You don’t need a minigun and dynamite to survive the end. In a dangerous situation, a rock or kitchen knife will be more than sufficient. You just need to stay fit and be quick. Good luck. I hope at least some of you survive.

  154. John

    Has anyone thought of a spear gun yet? In florida they have diving shops everywhere, and a spear gun would be a great back up weapon, it has nice range too. Throwing weapons like knives and shurikens, terrible idea. Your supposed to decapitate. Not throw a knife at a zombies face, I guarantee it will still be walking.

    But then again, it all depends what kind of zombies it would be, the generic “braaaains” zombies, or the crazy ass “holyshitholyshitweregunnadie” Left4dead zombies.
    and a Molotov is a baaad idea. Zombies are NOT people, and do not die as such.

  155. dzombieguy

    kitchen knives are good, but they work best if you train yourself to use them as throwing knives. for me- the katana- my dads got one int the shed. wo axes- easy to carry, great for throwing again- and the main weapon would be the shovel- sharpened- although, if you want to go dead rising 2 and make a kitchen knife boxing glove, or a shotgun shovel. all these work best, however, when your tucked away in your modified 4×4, doing it out the window or your built on sunroof.if you are caught in a situation where you cant have a 4×4, good armour anda shovel with at least five short range backup weapons is just perfect.

  156. I still like the morning star to carve in heads. High centrifugal forces developed to carve in heads which are protected by iron/steel helmets should be sufficient for any Zombie. As always, training and experience is required to master the weapon and to avoid that you knowck yourself out (as seen in probably hundreds of videos where people try to use Nunchak’s). However, probably not suitable against bigger crowds like all melee weapons.

    Another good one would be the bucket on a rope. Take a nice piece of wood, put some nice long nails through it, place the thing into a typical plactic bucket and force the nails through the bottom. Now fill the bucket with cement or concrete and let it dry. Fix a rope to the bucket, go on the balcony or climb the roof and drop the bucket on the heads of Zombies outside. Pull it up and drop it again. You can take them out from a safe position, you won’t run out of ammo or cause too much noise and take the pressure of your front door. No blood splatter hits you and you can do that all day if you don’t get too tired. If you life in a village you might be able to take out everyone who turned and is able to walk around. Afterwards you just start to clear out other houses and find other survivors, fortify the village and life happiliy everafter.

  157. Oh yes, and instead of the morning star the improvised version would be something heavy in a sock, like a rock. This might be helpful if the outbreak catches you off-guard, e.g. at work, in a shopping mall, in university, school, a bank visit or on holiday, so at any time where you might not carry your quote: “2 AR-15′s, 40 – 30 round mags., 5000 rounds .223, 2 12gauge pumps, M1 grand, 100 – 8 round mags., 1000rounds 30-06, 1300 rounds 12 gauge shells, Weatherby 28 in 30-06, 2 – .22rifles ( ruger 10-22, and trail master .22 ), 1100rounds of .22lr., Beretta 92, 12 – 16 round mags., Ivers 9, 14 – 13 round mags, 800rounds 9mm., Glock 21, 15 – 12 round mags., Ruger Red Hawk .45acp. revolver, 1200 rounds .45, and my other weapons: Full tang (hand forged) short sword, Compound bow and 30 arrows (which I hunt with an a regular bases.), and assorted axes,and other tools” with you.

  158. Kevin

    look guys i mean its all good and well if you have the weapons, guns and others, but the most important thing you need to remember is if you can really use everything that is around you, as it was stated before you need to be physically and mentally fit. I’m sixteen at the time and am under no illusion that i’ll be able to successfully hold off hordes with a gun or any other type of weapon, but the best someone can do in this type of situation is to be prepared and remember that no place is completely safe, only safer. Thanks to those who read. good luck if this actually happens. Also the less you are heard the better chance you have, and knives and blunt ogjects dont run out of ammo.

  159. Big Bobby K

    Why all the love for axe and machete? once you get your axe or machete firmly embedded into a skull it can be quite hard to remove. I’m all for a 6-15 Lbs. SLEDGEHAMMER full size with enough arm strength and practice you can strike at head level with one arm and do sufficient damage we can really get skull cracking with two hands. Keep a crowbar/solid bat at hand and a few knives or pistol (if available) as side arms. I also have a homemade viking style round shield strapped to my off arm and a full suit of homemade chainmaille 16 gauge punched steel with riveted rings 3/4″ diameter maybe a hippopotamus can bite through that!

  160. Dantheman

    Weapons are all personal preference depending on what you are good with. I am more interested in the armor aspect. What would be the absolute best armor for zombies?

  161. jeff dekmar

    1.crossbow(plenty of bolts ppl head to the bullets first in a store)
    2.g18 pistol
    3.desert eagle .50cal
    4.striker shotgun bird shot (take out many at a time from a distance)
    5.one long-ass machete
    6.3 other people with the same arsenal (4 altogether 2 guys 2 girls)

  162. jeff dekmar

    i forgot to add
    7.a 4×4 pickup truck with chain fence on outside glass with a cage on the 6ft bed like a gmc canyon is perfect truck so then you can have ppl in bed shooting and 2 propane tanks as giant bombs and a box0dynamite

  163. K-L2k9

    1stly i think pressuming zombies cannot swim best bet is a boat to sea. an i agree shotguns, chainsaws or other splatter weapons are a badd idea my first action would be grab the bear grills machette that nice chrysler jeep next door and imopervisedd explosives for last ditch escape efforts include calor/flo gas bottles used in your fires / microwave bombs (using knives forks, bleach and if yo have marbles and metal jacks anything small witch will fragment :) and also i thought about would zombie rules apply to animals? eg birds dogs, foxs, badgers… even seagulls?? because if so its a different ball game plus with most virus you have mutation depending on hosts genetic make up etc.. so maybe hybrids of the standard slow drooling zed?? and lets face facts if zombies move like in 28days/weeks or dawn of the dead e.g no fatigue then we are well and truely f u c ked no? even with marine/seal training your chances of survival are impaired im sure ther is no training that actually prepares you for infection on a scale of a zombie outbreak.. any have any idea of the time it would take to spread across even a small country like england if it ws a fast acting virus? i believe weeks as someone tries escaping oh no hes infected crashes car 2mins up the road begins foaming gets munchies you get my drift..
    i just wonder would the gverment actually warn/ help us… hmmm i think there nice military nuclear bunkers would be devoid of any working/middle or unweathly or important individual.

  164. The Hunter

    Well said Andrey. Not awful, you might live for a few days longer than the rest of these pathetic pieces of fodder. And John, below him? I guarantee ‘you’ that a weighted throwing knife can destroy the brain. I know, i’ve thrown them. The skull isnt impenetrable steel, and i’ve seen throwing knives embedded inches into solid pieces of wood. My target(a thick log mounted on a advertisement board) actually was chewed to pieces after a few throws. I love throwing the tomahawk… That thing cleaves and the thick head allows increased accuracy.

  165. Johnny

    Guns are heavy. Chainsaws are heavy. Katana’s need training that I doubt any of you have to weild one. they are also very fragile. you would all be carrying so much junk that you would be reduced to at least half your normal speed and range, and you would make one hell of a racket when you move. be fast, invisible, and silent. Sure the guys with 12 gauges, chainsaws, trucks, etc will kill more zombies than you, but when the ammo/gas/road/power runs out, they’re toast, PLUS all the zombies know where they are. So I encourage all of you to take just those things while I make a quiet getaway. I will be taking:
    a crowbar(duh)
    a hunting bow
    a large knife
    a rope (6mm climbing cord) I also like the idea of piano wire
    a first aid kit, incl bleach, water purification stuff, anti-biotics and instant set splints
    can of spraypaint (use for zombie spray, marking buildings, paths, traps etc. zombies cant read right?)
    some sort of anti perspirant etc, zombies hunt by smell.
    a headlamp with a red filter and spare lithium batteries(harder to see from a distance in the dark)
    a backpack, warm clothes, sleeping bag
    Good hiking boots (your feet are your two best friends now)
    map, GPS, compass, transistor radio, (you want to be as far from anyone else as possible for at least 12 months, so take some survival guides, edible plants etc too.
    some good, loooonnnnggg books to pass the time
    consider a flashbang for a last ditch getaway tool, but if you need that things are pretty bleak already
    Finally, a cyanide pill, or something equivalent. when it all turns to s&*t, its better than the alternative.

  166. huhZEDS_ATTAK

    ha ha i got the best weps for zed killin 1.chinese semiauto crosbow 2.i got this big ass sledge hammer/axe thing 3.i know how to make fuse granades and pipe bombs 4.i have a hardend leather jacket i made some pants with metal on the outside and a skimask with metal on the outside and 2 gasmasks plus 9mm pistol m 4 rifel 22. rifel 20 guage shotgun and about 500,000 rounds and i live in the mountans with a hangider so i can bring DEATH FROM ABOUVE BITCHES!!!!!!! ps i know my spelling is bad

  167. huhZEDS_ATTAK

    DEATH FROM ABOUF BBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

  168. Robert stover

    Here is what I have ready if it ever goes down I have a nine mil carbine with an agog scope a nine mil pistol crossbow with scope 12 gauge shotgun with both barrels pump .223 ranch rifle with fifty round clip it’s semi auto two panga machetes two swords with a nice head choping curve hatchet and two good knives that’s just weapons I’m also stocked medically and food now I’m not a nut a lot of this stuff I use hunting and camping

  169. Robert stover

    Man u shouldn’t. Need armour idk how much u where if a zombie horde gets ahold of ya ur screwed lol mobility is key

  170. I have been training for years. I actually want a zombie attack. I would also like to thank zombiephile because I know exacly what to do thanks to him. I know exacly who all is going to be in my group.

  171. got a military knife and twin head bashing thick sticks{with homemade handles}and a rifle with a scope and just waitin for a zombie outbreak to have fun.

  172. hey robert stover,why dont we dont we join armes when the outbreak starts,i need a partner in zombie slay’n,and plus,if you have a truck or pickup,i know where to find an MG42 from a store nearby,if you dont have a truck well just steal one,oh ya and im good hotwiring cars and one heck of a handyman

  173. hey mikhail petrov,i hear alot of russian sayin this word infront of me,it’s mudak i think,what does it mean????oh yeah and A GOOD COMMUNIST IS A DEAD COOMUNIST MOTHERFUCKEEEERR!!!!!

  174. the best weapon for aa pearson who loves american football is a footballwith greanades strapped to it…..ONE HECK OF A BOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

  175. Bill

    Get to ye olde blacksmith today and get a nice suit of armor. If you have the resources, get a nice suit of plate or maille, or a hazmat suit. If not, then invest in durable, heavy clothing. Start jogging 5 miles a day in your armor. Now choose a primary weapon: probably some bladed weapon of moderate heft and reliable durability. Blunt weapons are energy inefficient and due to the longer swings needed to accumulate this needed wasted energy, slower. I, due to personal preference, would probably take a type XIIa hand an a half (broadsword). Even those of modest means should be able to spare $10 for a machete or hatchet. Train with it. If we all know that it’s coming, then why assume unpreparedness instead of becoming prepared? Now focus on more important things: food, water, a cabin in the warmth, company.
    Humans move faster than zombies; as long as the zombie horde has not surrounded you, you are better off running than fighting. Ranged weapons are stupid for this: they require some ammunition, are usually heavy, and have little common utility. If your weapon can’t touch the zombie, then it’s better to run. If you have to fight, then the zombie can’t scratch you (a much more serious injury in this context) through a well devised armor, so have no fear of getting close to carve your way out. Push them down: getting quickly takes coordination. Don’t try to kill them all: run when you can.

    Either this, or maintain a positive and important role in your community. As proved by countless war films, plot armour trumps real armour.

  176. TehPwnZer

    I think you guys are going about this all the wrong way…when Z-day occurs, I’ve already got my plan A-H and I’m working on the rest of the alphabet. Plan A? I’m gonna dissapear into the forest and live happily ever after. My father taught me survival skills, I’m a damn fine shot, and when I run out of shells for ol’ reliable, I can get more or make a bow and arrow.
    Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about ammo: I’d just take what I needed to stay warm, cool, get my water and food, and just generally do well in an environment where there are bound to be few zombies. Just think of it like this: Where do people live? Mainly urban area’s. So, if you go to a place where fewer people live, less of a chance to bump into the rotting flesh-piles.
    My selected weapons? Well, i’d take my machete, my 12 gauge shotgun, I’d make a war-club and throwable spears, and I’d top the arsenal with whatever I could find lying around and my creativity.

  177. Harper

    Just to contribute an overlooked weapon. Anybody watch No Country For Old Men? You could use a captive bolt pistol (preferably the penetrating type). The ammo is versatile, from co2 canisters to blank rounds and the metal pin retracts for high speed zombie dispatch. Like a nail gun with balls.

    Unrelated note: If I were to market this toy towards a zombie survival fanbase, my cheesey slogan would be “Bolt Pistol: We Breathe Ammo”

  178. Just a number

    No one would survive. The true essence of the zombie virus is that it never ever dies. The dead will hold this virus until they cannot walk. They decompose and the virus then enters the water table, in turn enters the clouds, becomes rain and no water is then safe. Your guns are useless, your tools are useless. Even after 1 day, that’s right 1 day without water the human body starts to malfunction. You may live a week, a month, a year but once that bottled supply of water runs out. You’re dead.

  179. craig

    can i just say the zombies thing is really people in customs and if they were they would evacuate the town

  180. jr

    Is this dude fuckin dumb how the Hell is bucher knife good?

  181. joe

    everyone is dumb.
    1) lightsaber: Cutting tool, provides light, CAN CUT THRU ANYTHING, Ect., Ect.
    2) Bolter rifle: ( from warhammer 40K ) Basically fires .50 explosive rounds fully automatic and is the size of a pistol I think. Real f****ing loud though.
    3) disintegrator: no need for accuracy as long as you hit the zombie!
    4) flechette launcher: fires tiny steel shards @ high speeds. Completely silent.
    5)your friends: who needs to fight when someone else can do it for you?

  182. Jared

    Why not the simple sword sheil and spear sort of thing they did on 300 where the people with swords and shields held them off and protected themselves while the spearman take down the close zombies which also brings in archers using compound bows which if sighted in right can be very useful because you can get your ammo back and when you draw your bow it’s not as tiring and it’s light weight along with its silence giving you what you need for range and the shield/ sword/ spear ( even makeshift objects) would work great as long as you have the numbers and the cooperation.

  183. A good old pump action shotgun outta do it, none of that machete, blood flying everywhere business thanks

  184. zoe mbie

    i would use a pencil to draw them away from the house. drawing pins to slow them down. maybe use kryptonite or quick drying cement. banana skins and carefully placed bear traps is a must. maybe put them off course with a well placed trail of jelly beans. or even a wet towel to be used as a whip. we all know that really hurts ;) im sure i will survive.

  185. Damnt y’all just don’t get you can go to the fuckin sheriffs department and go to the armory and get some fuckin guns y’all damn pussies

  186. Zoe mbe what the fuck is wrong with you you don’t kill no damn zombie with a fuckin whip you sunof a bitch watch dawn of the dead they didn’t use no fuckin whip learn how to kill them damnt you are fucked up if your saying this you won’t fucking survive with no fucking whip

  187. zoe mbie

    ryan570 get a life you sad redneck hillbilly cunt.

  188. Camelslayer

    None of these would be practical for a number of reasons. Most of those would get you killed faster than anything.

  189. […] I know lots of you read last week’s Zombie Weapon Guide – Ten Zombie Slayin’ Weapons You Already Own – I hope you’ve got your zombie weapons already selected, because the zombie outbreak is right […]

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