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Poll: Zombies VS Stormtroopers

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You rebel zombie scum!

Here at Zombiephiles.com, we love asking ourselves ridiculously improbable questions, like “Do zombies poop?” and “What would happen if a vampire bit a zombie who’d been bitten by a werewolf?” and other burning questions along those lines.

This month we’re tackling one of those questions that stays with you for days after you first hear it, one of those questions that you find yourself flip-flopping on over and over and over again.

Zombies VS Stormtroopers…who would win? Would the Stormtroopers hardened battle armor protect them from the infectious bites of zombies? Would their blaster rifles be capable of remove the head or destroying the brains of the zombie horde? And whose side would Chewbacca weigh in on?

Zombiephiles of the world, it’s time to vote.

Zombies VS Stormtroopers

View Results

Moans.

  1. i think i need to start looking into tailors for my stormtrooper outfit. but then… how do you run in that? it’s not exactly the most ‘free’ish of outfits to be running about in.

  2. Yeah, I get the feeling that Stormtrooper outfits are better suited to marching than actual running. Which is why my vote is for Zombies.

  3. Stormtroopers have a history of having their asses handed to them, so my vote is for zombies.

  4. i say Stormtroopers,
    Even though their Aim is terrible.

  5. How can stromtroopers be winning?
    Ewoks beat stormtroopers, zombies beat ewoks.

  6. Allen

    Read “Death Troopers” By Joe Scheiber & tell me who would win, Zombies or Stormies!!!

  7. Seriously, they couldn’t catch a crappy smuggler, a wookie, 2 droids, a perky princess, a jedi padawan wannabe, and an old man. If they couldn’t hit a damn wookie, they’ll never destroy the brain of a zombie. Not like a wookie’s a tiny ass target. Zombies FTW.

  8. is_r is right…I double-checked our poll “zombies vs ewoks” and ewoks lost to zombies…

  9. Buddy

    The Zombies would win because Stormtroopers cant hit shit with those fancy rifles. And because a stormtrooper will die from a scratch. (ever notice how there are never any injured stormtroopers? Do they “mercy kill” any stormtrooper who gets hurt?)

  10. Even if you take into account the storm trooper’s access to tech like the walker, at at and speeder. They can’t stop a rebel force from wandering around all their bases how are they going to stop endless numbers of zombies? I mean really.

  11. GBo

    Its the zombie storm troppers. Thats what i’m waiting on.

  12. It’s 6 of one half a dozen of the other. The zombies can’t win against the stormtroopers because they can’t bite through the armour, and the storm troopers can’t kill the zombies because they’re incredibly bad shots.

  13. The zombies wouldn’t really be able to do alot of damage to the stormies because of their armor…

  14. Josh Goss

    Lets go through statistics. Zombies are slow, and storm troopers can run about 3x faster… point for troopers. Zombies have quick close range attacks making them have a good chance of a bite, but considering the trooper has armor on… point for troopers. Troopers are known to have AWFUL aim, but with a close range attack the storm trooper has a better advantage for aiming at their heads… point for troopers. If a trooper runs out of ammo they can still use melee with their weapon and knock the shit out of them as seen on Shawn of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Zombieland etc… point for troopers. Considering troopers cant stay awake 24/7 like zombies can I DO give a point to zombies considering.

    Zombies-1

    Troopers-4

  15. Stormtroopers need food & water like everyone else…so if they get trapped by a horder that is large enough, stormtroopers can die from lack of essential supplies. They may not die from actual infection, but it’s still death by zombies.

  16. Zombieproof1999

    stormtroopers laser guns space ships their armour also help never the less despite they can’t run. storm troopers all the way. oh yeah who said they were just gonna use their ships just for transport?

  17. Zam138

    @zombieproof1999— note that it says stormtroopers, not Imperator sd’s cooking the planet surface with ‘laser’ volleys (which would make way too much sense to be imperial in origin, with the exception of thrawn… ) note to all: look up Imperial stormtroopers marksmanship academy, and also remember that if you see one stormtroopers, there’s likely to be hundreds of thousands behind him. Unleash one horde, you get the other. Also note that in death troopers, the scientists intentionally infected the crew with the virus. Almost All at once. No warning. Also please note the phrase: “It was an ambush! There were two of them!” An army can be decimated by one single surprise like, say, an unknown enemy who ignores casualties suddenly bashing in your cabin door where the only escape is a single bullet. In defense of the undead , on the other hand, both might makes right and quantity has a quality all of it’s own. And yet stormtroopers have both, as well, rivaling the numbers of the horde in a single fleet. And if they wanted to do a real purification, well, see above. Zippity, zappity, death by laser. Gotta go with stormtroopers. They easily overwhelm all of terra’s population. Stalin would be so proud to see the red- er, white plasticy-looking horde arise anew…

    Again, sorry for the rant.

  18. gottmituns

    storm troopers. they can explode the god damn zombie infested planet with the death star weaponry.

  19. gottmituns

    death star. one button does it all.

  20. Josella Chrysalids-Harris-MacArthur

    Yes the stormtroopers have an awful aim, nevertheless when their lasers are not set on stun mode accuracy improves infinitely. Those circular blue rays(?) had no problem knocking Princess Leila out, so they’d certainly incapacitate a zombie for a sufficiently long period. Even a fuck-witted stormtrooper can hit the brain of an unconcious being.

Zombies moan. Zombiephiles moan back.

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