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RFID “Cadaver” Tagging – Covert Preemptive Zombie Defense?

Amidst an ocean of bad decisions, the US Government seems to be on the verge of making the right one: preemptively tagging and cataloging our innumerable dead, presumably as a hedge bet against an eventual zombie uprising.

Widely reported in the mainsteam media (“Chips Help Catalogue Katrina Dead, Wired, September 2005; Body ID: Barcodes for Cadavers, Wired , February 2005″), the practice of tagging the recently deceased with small, impact resistant, microampule RFID (Radio Frequency IDentification) tags seems to be on the rise. The government is, as usual, skirting around the zombie issue, instead claiming that the tags can be used to track the injured and deceased in disaster situations or to prevent organ theft.

We know what they’re really doing – and we don’t mind it at all.


Although the media seems to be treating this as a novelty, you, the enlightened reader, know that we at the ZombiePhiles take this sort of thing very seriously. Any and all preparatory steps can and should be taken now, while we still have the resources and manpower to do it. When throngs of undead are bashing down your door, you’ll wish you’d had the forethought to install an RFID-activated defense system – a possibility that now lies within your grasp.

In fact, it’s the general consensus around here that Verichip, the company that produces the RFID chips, also used in hospitals to track patients, should mass market these – every person should have one somewhere on their body. When the dead rise, the ability to track them remotely will be invaluable – and impossible once our existing infrastructure is overrun.

Remember – prepare now! Zombies need no preparation!

Moans.

  1. chris

    if we put a tracking device in every single living person, we wont be able to tell the difference between zombies and living humans when it comes to tracking them

  2. Hmmmm…Chris does have a point with that one…unless you club each human in the head after you implant the chip.

  3. qway

    while the chips themselves are smaller than a grian of rice, they can still hold a lot of info, and if the technology is right, who’s to say that when dead, the chicp doesn’t switch to a diff way of transmitting? like sticking a “D” in front of the tracking numbers? Or having the target show up as a diff color in the tracking equipment? Just a thought.

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