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5 Things Zombie Preparation Can Teach Us About H1N1 Swine Flu

If you’re a Zombiephile chances are that you’ve been watching news of the recent outbreak of H1N1 Swine Flu in Mexico like a hawk. After all, as we’ve discussed in the past, zombie outbreaks would likely spread in the same way as highly contagious viruses do; it therefore behooves the average Zombiephile to take some time and think, “What can zombie outbreak preparation teach me about the H1N1 Swine Flu?


I’ve written that preparing for a zombie outbreak might not be such a bad idea in the grand scheme of things. In fact, most of the general zombie “rules” I espouse on this site are excellent guides to surviving a global pandemic. Let’s run through the main points of zombie outbreak preparation and see how they line up with H1N1 Swine Flu.

5.
Stockpile Food and Water.

This one is just a no-brainer. In any kind of emergency, be it zombie outbreak or global Swine Flu pandemic, you’re going to want a lot of the stuff you need to live – food and water. Better to stockpile now, since by the time you realize you need it, it’ll already be too dangerous to go out and get yourself. Supplies are like condoms or anti-virus software; it works best if you remember to do it before you need it.

In a Swine Flu pandemic, we would see widespread voluntary, or potentially involuntary quarantine. We’d be spending a great deal of time stuck in our homes, with nothing more than what we had when we went in – just like a zombie outbreak. Make sure you’re not stuck eating powdered mashed potatoes for the duration.

4.
Mitigate the Spread of the Zombie Outbreak Swine Flu.

The CDC has announced that containment is no longer an option with H1N1 swine flu. Us zombiephiles knew that containment was never going to be a realistic option. Once zombies are out, trying to contain the outbreak is like closing the barn door after the cow’s already gotten out. The moment that a zombie outbreak hits Level 4 status, it’s almost a sure thing that it’s going to hit Level 5 (pandemic) status eventually. The same goes for H1N1 swine flu; now the the virus is present in dozens of countries, containment is really not an option anymore. We must focus on mitigation, on slowing the rate of infection and treating the infected.

<del>Shoot for the head</del> Wear a mask.

Shoot for the head Wear a mask.

In zombie terms, of course, “mitigation” means shooting them in the head. I don’t think such an extreme reaction is warranted with H1N1 victims [Editor’s note: yet]. As with a potential zombie outbreak, we recommend avoiding crowds, being vigilant about infection vectors like dirty hands, and visiting the shooting range working from home.

3.
Follow the News.

There’s a lot being said about zombies H1N1 Swine Flu in the news; as we can also expect during a zombie outbreak, much of the news is contradictory and confusing. Still, though, there are some great resources for tracking the spread of H1N1 using Google Maps and other API’s. This is crucial for keeping track of the “tipping point” – the moment when it really becomes in your best interest to pack up the van and head out to that cabin in the woods.

Maybe you probably shouldn't invite these guys along.

You probably shouldn't invite these guys to the cabin.

Don’t hide from the news – embrace it. The more you know about the zombie outbreak H1N1 swine flu, the more prepared you are to handle it. Find a reputable source of information that’s likely to last through a pandemic and check it as often as possible

2.
Don’t Panic.

As hard as it sounds, you’re going to have to try not to panic. Freaking out before the zombie outbreak Swine Flu is actually a problem is only going to increase the general chaos and pandemonium and guarantee that you’re less prepared when the full brunt of the outbreak hits.

Real-life panic is typically not this much fun.

Real-life panic is typically not this much fun.

Spend your time now preparing for that Level 5 pandemic and don’t worry so much about the Level 4 stuff, unless you’re in a hot zone (like, for example, Mexico). When the full-blown pandemic (and associated social upheaval) actually occurs, you’re going to wish you hadn’t eaten all of your rations during the first week, while everyone else was still ordering pizza. Zombie outbreak survival is all about timing. H1N1 Swine Flu is no different.

1.
Buy Gold, Guns and Medicine.

Don’t laugh, I’m serious. In the off-chance that zombies (or swine flu) do manage to cause the downfall of the government, your paper money is going to be useless except as tinder. Make sure you’ve got enough of the things that people really consider valuable. I recommend buying gold, guns (and ammo, of course) and medicine – antibiotics and non-prescription painkillers especially. By the time things get really bad, the price of these things is going to be huge, and that paper money you’ve got saved up isn’t going to be the currency in use. Do yourself and your family a favor and make sure you’ve got what you need before you need it.

Moans.

  1. luis

    this is interesting, i will like to know more about this theory that you have.

Zombies moan. Zombiephiles moan back.

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