This week’s zombie faceoff is a politically and historically charged topic, one that has been discussed ad nauseum by this Zombiephile’s friends, family, and fellow zombie slayers; we felt that it was well past time we put the question to you, zombie fans of the world: Who would win, zombies or the Nazi war machine?

Zombies VS The Wehrmacht

• Zombies
• Wehrmacht

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Zombies Vs. The Wehrmacht - who would win? The question has plagued historians and zombie fans alike for decades - finally, you zombiephiles will have the chance to answer it.

Just how would Hitler’s minions face against throngs of the undead? How would the Luftwaffe fare against massive armies of the walking dead? Would the Kriegsmarine have any tactical advantage at all over endless mobs of the zombiefied Heer?

It’s like Wolfenstein, except that the zombies and the nazis aren’t the same people. Zombies have their usual strengths and weaknesses, and the Wehrmacht is - well, it’s a war machine. Zombies can turn nazi soldiers into zombies themselves, and the Germans have Rommel.

Tough call, zombie fans. You decide.

Wow. Just, wow.

How did the world exist, thrive even, before Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! was created? And what will the world do now that we’ve experienced it? Life will truly never be the same.

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies is that classic story of boy meets stripper, boy becomes zombie, stripper kills zombie. An excellent setup for a zombie comedy (zom-com, to use the cultural vernacular).

If you can stomach the low budget, if you can handle the ridiculous dialogue delivered with tongue practically piercing cheek, if you’re up to the outrageously bad special effects, and if you like strippers, pimps, and crackwhores (this Zombiephile certainly does), you’re ready for Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

Don’t be smackin’ the booty buggy, bitch!

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This zombiephile would just like to be the first to say, “I told you so.”

The United States government, and President Bush in particular, have been fighting the good fight against the imminent zombie outbreak for months now; as we’ve been living our lives in quiet desperation, worrying about the economy and terrorism and our mortgages, our heroic soon-to-be-ex-president has taken the fight to the zombies.

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Zombiephiles of the world, rejoice! Common Craft, a website dedicated to providing explanations for everything under the sun in simple, plain English, with accompanying videos, has finally taken the zombie threat seriously - they’ve posted a Zombies in Plain English guide to understanding, surviving, and ultimately thriving, in the context of a zombie outbreak.

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Well, Zombiephiles, it’s time for another (semi) weekly Zombie faceoff - and this one is a toughie: Zombies Vs. Triffids.

What’s a triffid, you ask? Tsk, tsk - shame on you. Check out this triffid/zombie article that Josella Chrysalids-Harris posted last week to learn more about the triffid phenomenon. Essentially, triffids are killer zombie plants. More or less.

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